Ever noticed the stark beauty and quiet introspection of winter? How can we see our personal hardships and transitions as a wintering process, much like the natural world prepares for survival? What can the resilience of bees, the song of robins, and the practices of ancient cultures teach us about navigating life's challenges? Can we find balance, wisdom, and the promise of renewal by embracing both our productive 'ant' years and our struggling 'grasshopper' years? Dive into this thought-provoking exploration of how we can learn to thrive through our personal winters.

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

On a sunny September day, a week before Katherine's fortieth birthday, she was at Folkestone beach with friends, soaking in an Indian summer. The beach, bathed in warmth, seemed to promise endless joy, but there was an ominous absence of photos of her husband, H. 

He felt unwell, but they dismissed it as a minor ailment. However, his condition worsened, leading them to the hospital where they discovered his appendix had burst. His pain and the hospital's slow response left them in fear.

This crisis struck amid significant life changes: Katherine had just left her job as a university lecturer and published a book. As she stayed by H’s side, she realized that winter had begun—not the season, but a period of life marked by hardship and introspection.

Wintering, as Katherine calls it, is a metaphor for those tough times we all endure. It's a season of feeling cut off, sidelined, or in transition. It can be triggered by illness, loss, or personal failure, and it’s often involuntary and painful. Yet, it’s inevitable and profoundly human.

From a young age, Katherine learned to winter, navigating undiagnosed autism and depression. These experiences taught her resilience and the importance of accepting and even embracing winter. Our culture tends to hide these periods, treating them as failures. But wintering holds wisdom and transformation.

Nature shows us how to winter: animals hibernate, trees shed leaves—all preparing for survival. Wintering isn’t the end but a crucible for new beginnings. It’s a time to slow down, reflect, and rebuild. In winter, we can find a sparse beauty and a chance for deep recuperation.

Embracing wintering means acknowledging its presence and choosing how to navigate it. It’s about shedding old skins, feeling raw, and allowing ourselves to heal. Winter is not just a season to endure but a time for transformation and growth.

Are You Ready to Embrace the Transformative Power of Wintering?

October saw Katherine baking bagels—or rather, failing at it. Her mixer broke, the dough didn’t rise, and the yeast she used had expired five years ago. 

But baking kept her hands busy and distracted her from darker thoughts. H was home and back at work, while Katherine was stuck at home, overwhelmed by stress and a persistent pain in her abdomen. After admitting to her GP that she had ignored symptoms of bowel cancer for a year, she underwent tests and was signed off sick.

Cooking became a small solace. She missed the joy of shopping for ingredients and the pleasure of cooking, which had been pushed out by the rush of life. Katherine made a lamb hot pot, pumpkin soup, and pickled cucumbers, enjoying the luxury of time. Her son Bert and she bonded over baking gingerbread men, inviting back quiet pleasures and small acts of defiance against a hectic life.

Winter was approaching, and Katherine was trying to prepare, both practically and mentally. She learned about “talvitelat” from her Finnish friend Hanne, a concept of being stowed away for winter, and the importance of preparing for the cold. Katherine made membrillo from quinces and reconnected with the practice of preserving, a nod to her family’s tradition.

After a couple of weeks off work, Katherine wondered if she was truly unwell or just desperate to leave her job. She’d given up drinking and found comfort in early mornings and meditation. Katherine was embracing a hyggelig life, full of candles, tea, and quiet moments. Yet, a simple walk to the seafront brought pain and paranoia about how her colleagues perceived her absence.

A trip to Iceland for her fortieth birthday brought both joy and illness. The Blue Lagoon’s warm waters offered a brief respite, but soon Katherine was bedridden with tonsillitis. Despite the setback, she found solace in the northern landscapes and the reminder that winter, with its challenges, can also bring clarity and healing.

Finding Solace: From Baking Mishaps to Icelandic Healing and Halloween Traditions

When November arrived, a crisp change filled the air, signaling the arrival of winter. The frosty mornings glamorized everyday life, frosting patterns on cars and forming icy puddles in the gutters. 

Even the family cats transformed, putting on their winter coats and seeking the warmth of the home they once shunned in summer. Katherine also felt this transformation, adapting to the cold and finding comfort in the quiet, solitary winter walks along the River Stour.

Winter's magic is echoed in Gaelic mythology through the figure of the Cailleach, a deity whose very steps shaped the land, symbolizing the cyclical nature of life. This reflection on transformation drew a parallel to Katherine's friend, Shelly, who, after a near-death experience, emerged with a newfound fearlessness and purpose, embodying the resilience and renewal that winter represented.

The natural world mirrors this transformation. Trees undergo abscission, shedding leaves to conserve energy, while dormant buds lie in wait for spring's return. This cyclical process is a reminder that life endures through seasons of change, much like the dormice that hibernate, waking periodically to ensure their survival.

In the quiet of winter, Katherine found a new rhythm, embracing the early nights and long sleeps that the season demanded. This restful period was disrupted by bouts of insomnia, echoing the ancient practice of segmented sleep, a time for reflection and contemplation. The stillness of the night became a sacred space for Katherine, a time to read, write, and find comfort in the dark hours.

Katherine drew a parallel between personal winters and hospital stays, where the sterile, disciplined environment created a space for transformation. After enduring medical treatments and dietary changes, Katherine emerged with a renewed understanding of self-care and the importance of conserving energy.

Winter, with its stark beauty and quiet introspection, offered a time to shed old beliefs and prepare for renewal. Katherine came to appreciate the season's invitation to rest and reflect, finding comfort in the solitude and the promise of future growth. 

As the dormice hibernated, waking occasionally to tend to their needs, so too did Katherine embrace the liminal spaces of winter, learning to welcome the quiet moments that led to transformation.

Is Winter's Transformation a Metaphor for Personal Renewal and Resilience?

John Donne’s poem “A Nocturnal upon St. Lucy’s Day” is a poignant read for those affected by winter’s melancholy. 

Written in response to his wife Anne’s death in 1617, it’s a deeply intimate reflection on love and loss. Amid the darkness, there’s a hint of optimism as Donne addresses a new generation of lovers, emphasizing the cyclical nature of life and love.

St. Lucy’s story remains a poignant symbol of faith and sacrifice. Her connection to light, whether guiding Christians in catacombs with a crown of candles or standing firm in her beliefs despite persecution, represents resilience in darkness. This symbolism is celebrated annually in Nordic churches, where young girls don white gowns and candle crowns, leading processions that signify hope and light.

In modern Sweden, the celebration of Sankta Lucia brings families together. Kathering found herself in a Swedish church in London, surrounded by the warmth of community and the anticipation of the ceremony. Despite feeling like an outsider, the experience brought a sense of belonging and introspection. The service, led by a young girl crowned with real candles, filled the church with an ethereal light and song. It was a moment of magic, an embrace of light in the darkest season.

That year, she sought solace in rituals, attending the winter solstice at Stonehenge. The ancient stones, a site of historical and spiritual significance, drew a diverse crowd. Despite the early hour and cold, the atmosphere was one of shared celebration, marking the return of light. The experience was a mix of the mundane and the mystical, a reminder of the cycles of nature and the need for communal acknowledgment of these transitions.

As the year ended, she found comfort in small, meaningful rituals. Lighting a fire on the beach with friends, watching the sun set and rise, and embracing the changes each season brings. These moments, though simple, provided a sense of control and connection, a way to face the challenges of life with a bit more grace.

Ultimately, wintering is about accepting the darker times and finding ways to navigate through them. It's about creating new rituals, connecting with others, and allowing oneself to feel and heal. It’s a reminder that even in the depth of winter, there is the promise of renewal and light.

Finding Light in Winter: John Donne, St. Lucy, and Modern Rituals

Approaching her mid-thirties, Katherine was faced with the reality of her declining fertility. She decided to freeze her eggs, but test results revealed she had no time left. She was producing plenty of eggs but lacking the hormones to become pregnant. This realization hit Katherine hard—she wanted a child more than anything.

Katherine soon turned to IVF, but surprisingly, she got pregnant naturally, just before her first appointment. Despite severe morning sickness, she couldn’t let go of her trip to Tromsø, Norway. Her midwife hesitated but finally agreed Katherine could travel if she took precautions. Tromsø, known as the "Paris of the North," was in the middle of its polar night when they arrived. The sun barely rose. Despite the cold and her pregnancy, Katherine was determined to see the northern lights. 

One night, on a fishing boat, they saw a faint wisp of greenish light—their first glimpse of the aurora borealis. The lights danced slowly and subtly in the sky, unlike the vivid images Katherine had seen online. These ethereal lights felt like a reward for their patience and perseverance. 

The next night, they chased the lights by coach, and Katherine witnessed a green eye forming in the sky, disappearing almost as quickly as it appeared. The beauty of the aurora was a fleeting gift, much like the experience of pregnancy itself. She also witnessed reindeer shedding their antlers in the winter, symbolizing the vulnerability she felt during her pregnancy.

In Tromsø, Katherine found that extraordinary things could flourish in the dark polar night. She accepted her limitations and the changes in her life, realizing that she wasn’t invincible but that this phase wouldn’t last forever. She learned to rest, to dream, and to appreciate the beauty in the fleeting moments. 

Can Chasing the Northern Lights Teach Us the True Meaning of Resilience?

Snow, as depicted in literature like C.S. Lewis’s Narnia, often symbolizes a world transformed, where children step into roles of power and adventure. Similarly, in Susan Cooper’s and John Masefield’s stories, snow heralds a shift from mundane to magical, challenging children to rise to the occasion.

For many people, snow can be more of a nuisance than a delight. In many Nordic countries, it involves enduring long winters, digging out cars, and coping with the risk of falling through ice. Yet, there are moments of beauty too, like the sound of snow underfoot or the crisp smell of frozen laundry.

Despite these inconveniences, Katherine cherishes snow's transformative beauty, the way it turns the world into a sparkling wonderland, and invites us to pause our routine lives. Living in Whitstable, where snow is rare, has made her appreciate these moments even more. 

Inspired by winter's harsh beauty, Katherine also started embracing cold water swimming. Initially daunting, the icy plunge soon became invigorating, a ritual that brought her clarity and resilience. Joining a local swimming group, she found camaraderie and the joy of living fully in the moment. Each swim, with its bracing cold, became a testament to their shared bravery and a reminder of their ability to adapt and thrive.

In essence, snow and cold water, both demanding and exhilarating, reveal nature's power to disrupt and renew. They remind us of our smallness and our strength, offering fleeting invitations to step into the magical, the sublime.

From Snow Myths to Chilly Dips: Katherine's Frosty Adventures

As a child, Katherine had a copy of Aesop’s "The Ant and the Grasshopper." It warned against idleness, showing a carefree grasshopper starving in winter while the industrious ants thrived. Even then, she felt the ants were too harsh, missing an opportunity for mutual benefit.

Reflecting as an adult, she saw the grasshopper as a symbol for those society deems lazy or irresponsible, while the ants represent the ideal of hard-working citizens. Yet, life isn't so clear-cut. We all experience "ant" years of productivity and "grasshopper" years of struggle.

One autumn walk behind her writing studio, she observed bees preparing for winter. Beekeepers often merge weak colonies with strong ones using newspapers to avoid conflict, allowing the bees to unite harmoniously. This method emphasizes survival through cooperation and adaptation.

Bees, often admired for their efficiency, actually exemplify communal resilience. Their entire year revolves around winter survival, with specialized roles ensuring the hive's continuity. They remind us that survival is a collective effort.

Humans, unlike bees, aren’t eusocial. Our lives are complex, full of choices and mistakes. We thrive on care and connection, not strict efficiency. We must embrace our winters—times of hardship—to learn and grow.

Robins, who sing even in the depths of winter, symbolize resilience and hope. Their winter song, a risky yet vibrant display, serves as a reminder that strength and vitality persist even in harsh times.

Much like the robin’s unwavering song, Katherine’s own voice had once been lost. Losing her voice after her son’s birth felt like losing a part of herself. Singing lessons helped her reclaim it, teaching her to breathe and speak with renewed confidence. Singing, like the robin’s song, is essential for expressing our deepest emotions and sustaining our spirit.

In essence, nature’s cycles teach us resilience. We endure winters, learning to nurture ourselves and others, emerging stronger. Embracing both our ant and grasshopper years, we find balance and wisdom, ready to face the world anew.

Can We Learn Resilience and Compassion from Aesop's Ants and Grasshoppers?

Difficult periods in life, much like the winter season, are inevitable and deeply human. These times of hardship, whether triggered by illness, loss, or personal failure, are unavoidable but hold the potential for growth and transformation.

Wintering is a metaphor for these challenging periods, where we feel cut off and in transition. Just like nature, which prepares for survival through hibernation and shedding leaves, we too can use these times to slow down, reflect, and rebuild. Embracing wintering means acknowledging its presence and navigating it with acceptance, allowing ourselves to heal and transform.

Rituals and small acts, like cooking or participating in traditions, can provide solace and a sense of control during these times. They help us connect with others, find joy in the present, and prepare for renewal. Even in the darkest times, there is a promise of light and growth.

Nature's cycles, such as the resilience of bees and the song of robins in winter, offer valuable lessons. They remind us that survival is a collective effort, and even in harsh conditions, strength and vitality persist. Embracing both productive and struggling periods, we can learn to balance and find wisdom in life's unpredictability, ready to face the world anew.

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Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

Katherine May

Ever noticed the stark beauty and quiet introspection of winter?

How can we see our personal hardships and transitions as a wintering process, much like the natural world prepares for survival?

What can the resilience of bees, the song of robins, and the practices of ancient cultures teach us about navigating life's challenges?

Can we find balance, wisdom, and the promise of renewal by embracing both our productive 'ant' years and our struggling 'grasshopper' years?

Dive into this thought-provoking exploration of how we can learn to thrive through our personal winters.

Key Ideas

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