Ready to explore the raw, captivating journey of Laura McKowen from addiction to recovery? How did the author turn her life around with yoga, honesty, and the power of the present moment? What role did AA and her social support systems play in her transformation? Dive into the profound transformation that sobriety brought, and how it expanded her life beyond expectations.

We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life

It was September 2014. Laura McKowen, the author, sat in her car, alone, on a cold Saturday night, watching her breath form small clouds. Her brother Joe stepped out of the restaurant, looking worried. 

Laura called out to him and saw his expression shift from worry to anger. They were throwing a surprise party for their mom’s sixtieth birthday, and Joe had been looking for Laura. She had snuck out to her car to breathe, trying to release the anxiety that had been crushing her since morning.

Joe and his wife, Jenny, were visiting, and Laura had embarrassed herself the previous day by drinking excessively. The flashbacks haunted her: sneaking sips of wine, her mom’s disappointed face, Joe’s frustration. Her heart broke, knowing she had done it again. She felt the weight of her drinking problem and the shame it brought.

The next morning, Laura woke up early with a pounding heart, replaying the events of the weekend. She felt empty and undeserving of being a mother. She texted no one, made no promises, and tried to focus on her breath. She remembered Rumi’s words: “Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn’t matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.”

Laura stopped promising herself she’d never drink again. Instead, she focused on not drinking right now. This moment, then the next. She realized that forever was overwhelming, but right now was manageable. Slowly, she built a life of sobriety, one moment at a time.

She remembered her yoga teacher’s advice to a student afraid of not being able to stop drinking: “Of course you can. Are you drinking right now?” That simple wisdom carried her through the hardest times, teaching her that the future is built on a series of present moments.

As she navigated her new life, Laura questioned everything. She allowed herself to feel the unfairness and rage of letting go of the one thing that seemed to get her through. But she also found relief in being honest and accepting each moment as it was. Forgetting forever meant everything to her.

Now, nearly five years later, Laura is still sober. She didn’t commit to forever, just to each moment. And that’s how she’s made it through. Remember, the future doesn’t exist yet, but anything is possible right now.

Could Rumi's Words Inspire Your Journey to Sobriety?

It was an unusually hot October day. Laura was drenched in sweat two miles into her run, feeling like she was moving through ninety-degree soup. It had been a month since her mom’s birthday party and her last drink. She had reached thirty days of sobriety, a milestone she hadn't achieved in over a year of trying. Laura even marked the occasion by drawing a "30" in the sand and posting it on Instagram, but instead of feeling accomplished, she felt raw and fragile.

Life was chaotic. She managed a big job at a marketing agency in Boston, traveled frequently, and shared custody of her five-year-old daughter, Alma. Laura's responsibilities felt endless, and she was barely keeping up. Alcohol had been her crutch, giving her the illusion of control and escape each night. Without it, she expected life to get easier. Instead, it was a daily battle just to function.

One October day, Laura faced a dilemma: should she go to her former boss’s farewell party at a bar downtown? She wrestled with the decision for two weeks, her mind a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. On the day of the party, she went for a run, hoping to clear her head. Instead, the inner turmoil intensified until she screamed at the sky, “STOP! STOP! JUST FUCKING STOP!” Exhausted, she decided to go to the party, even though she knew it was a bad idea.

She dressed up, bought a bottle of wine, and boarded the train to Boston. As she sat with the wine in her purse, Laura felt out of control. She texted Holly, a friend from AA, asking for help. Holly sent her a meditation link. Desperate, Laura followed the meditation, hating every moment but determined. When she arrived in Boston, she knew she couldn’t go through with it. She threw the wine away and ran for the train back home.

The next day, Holly explained that Laura's brain had been hijacked by addiction, a powerful force that had rewired her brain over years of drinking. She realized she needed to stop getting on the metaphorical train of temptation. It wasn’t about managing the ride but about avoiding the train altogether.

Her first AA meeting was awkward and humbling. Laura felt out of place but relieved to have taken a step. Over time, she met people who understood her struggle, and their honesty was a balm to her soul. Despite her resistance, she kept going to meetings, slowly building a network of support. The people in AA saved her life, offering her a space to grow and be honest.

One night, Laura went to a sober party but ended up drinking beforehand. The people at the party took care of her and Alma, driving them home without judgment. Their kindness was a turning point. Laura learned that healing comes from being held in undeserved favor.

AA wasn’t perfect, and she didn’t agree with everything, but it provided a place where Laura could be seen and supported. The truth is, she had to shut down parts of her life connected to drinking until new, healthier patterns formed. Each time she said no to the train, she created space for growth and strength.

In the end, Laura found that staying in the empty space, no matter how desolate, allowed her to build a new life. She learned to make good choices and trust the process. The journey was hard, but it was worth it. She encourages others to find their house where the truth is told, whether it’s in AA or elsewhere. Let yourself be held and carried to a new shore, where you can become a house of your own.

Sobriety Struggle: How AA and Inner Strength Changed Laura's Life

Laura woke up in her own bed, sober, with Alma next to her. A flashback hit her: a dark, freezing apartment, wine oozing from her pores, and a trail of vomit and broken glass. She cleaned feverishly while Alma, five years old and in her pajamas, found her and offered to help. Laura lied to protect her.

In sobriety, Laura learned about tolerance and resilience. Alcohol had numbed her, but now she was confronting her past. At an AA meeting, a woman told her, “You can push off from here.” Her words became a beacon of hope, showing Laura that it was okay to start anew, even when overwhelmed by the wreckage of her past.

Her mom, a social drinker, tried to support her but didn't fully understand. Laura felt anger and resentment. At a dinner party, her mom refrained from drinking until Laura left, confirming her fear of being a burden. Yet, the truth was, Laura missed drinking and felt isolated.

Admitting her struggles was a turning point. Laura stopped pretending and allowed herself to feel. She avoided social situations with alcohol, giving herself space to heal. Over time, she found joy in simple things, like writing and spending time with Alma.

Laura attended a sober party, awkward and nervous, but found a surprising sense of belonging. There, she realized the power of shared experiences and the importance of new connections.

Sobriety has taught Laura patience, faith, and the truth’s transformative power. She’s forgiven herself and found strength in pushing off from the past. If you’re struggling, know that you can start from here. You don’t have to face everything at once. Just push off from here and trust the process.

Can You Push Off From Your Past and Rebuild Your Life?

At thirty, Laura was the first among her friends to have a baby. Determined not to lose herself, she continued attending parties and dinners, straining to maintain her pre-pregnancy life. But constant morning sickness forced her to slow down. Her friend Kacey's advice to focus on herself and the baby finally resonated. Laura began saying no to extra activities, which brought immense relief. Embracing her needs felt like unlocking a universal secret.

During her pregnancy, Laura worked full-time, managed household responsibilities, and supported her husband, Jake, who was finishing grad school. Yet, she focused on her well-being, indulging in long showers and simple pleasures like reading and yoga. She learned to prioritize herself unapologetically.

Years later, in her struggle for sobriety, Laura experienced a profound fatigue reminiscent of pregnancy. Facing bone-deep tiredness, she adopted "The Pregnancy Principle," which emphasizes that building a new life comes first. Laura recognized that anything or anyone unsupportive had to go. This principle, inspired by her pregnancy experience, taught her to prioritize her well-being and embrace the uncomfortable process of transformation.

Sobriety demanded the same vigilance as pregnancy. She learned to respect her limits and listen to her needs, even if it meant making tough choices. Real change required time, attention, and a willingness to let go of old habits and relationships. It was a journey of self-discovery and resilience, much like bringing a new life into the world.

Through these experiences, Laura understood the importance of putting her well-being first. It wasn't selfish; it was necessary for her growth. She learned to navigate life's transitions with patience, understanding that true transformation is messy and difficult. But by embracing the process, Laura found strength and dignity in her journey towards a new, sober life.

The Pregnancy Principle: Embracing Self-Care for Sobriety and Transformation

Laura didn’t want to go. It was months before her mom’s sixtieth birthday, and she’d signed up for a four-day yoga retreat at Kripalu with friends, assuming she’d be well into her sobriety by then. But by October 2014, Laura was barely twenty days sober. Her finances were a mess, and she’d just narrowly avoided arrest due to expired driving documents. She was anxious and exhausted, but she went.

Laura's first yoga class was in 2002, and despite its intensity, she kept going sporadically. In 2008, she impulsively signed up for yoga teacher training, even though she found out she was pregnant the next day. The training became a lifeline during her difficult pregnancy. Later, Laura began teaching yoga, which filled her with joy despite the fear it brought.

At Kripalu, Laura felt panicked among confident yogis but was inspired by Seane, who spoke about healing and using yoga to change the world. Despite her emotional turmoil, she stayed through the weekend, resisting the urge to check her phone for messages from Jon, who had gone silent. By the end, she approached Seane and confessed her struggle with sobriety. Her encouragement meant everything.

In the bookstore, a quote from the Gospel of Thomas struck Laura deeply: “If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” She realized she had to chase something bigger than drinking.

Laura had been lying and hiding her drinking, even from those close to her. Her friend Jason confronted her, kindly urging her to stop lying and drinking. His words planted a seed of truth in her. Despite continuing to drink, she started noticing her habitual lies and the paranoia they caused.

In 2012, Laura left a job where she’d embarrassed herself and joined a new agency, still avoiding the truth about her drinking. It wasn’t until she read Augusten Burroughs’s blunt words about sobriety that she began to understand: she had to actually stop drinking.

Laura created a blog and an Instagram account to write about her journey, sharing her struggles honestly. Writing became a lifeline, helping her process and heal. Eventually, she made amends with those she’d hurt. Admitting her wrongs and committing to change brought immense relief.

Through honesty, Laura learned to take responsibility for her life. She found that the truth, though uncomfortable, was ultimately freeing. Today, Laura lives one life, without the burden of lies. It’s a life full of integrity, closer to love and authenticity.

Can Yoga and Sobriety Transform Your Life?

Loneliness is a pervasive issue that many people face, often without fully understanding why. David Wagoner's poem "Lost" beautifully encapsulates the feeling of being disconnected, emphasizing the importance of being present and letting the environment guide us.

For much of Laura's life, despite having a busy social life and being surrounded by friends and family, she felt an underlying sense of loneliness. Drinking provided a temporary illusion of connection, but the feeling of separateness always returned, often more intensely. 

When Laura stopped drinking, the loneliness felt even more profound, as most of her relationships had been built around alcohol. It was only when she began to truly let people in and share her deepest thoughts and feelings that the loneliness began to subside. True intimacy, as her friend Meadow defines it, is having a kind, compassionate witness to your truest self.

Learning to be alone with herself was challenging but necessary. In Laura's early sobriety, she struggled with meditation and being still. On Thanksgiving during her first year of sobriety, she experienced intense loneliness when her boyfriend left for the day. Instead of running from it, she allowed herself to feel the loneliness fully. This moment of self-witnessing brought a profound sense of peace and intimacy with herself, something she had never experienced before.

Over time, Laura has learned to be a kinder witness to herself, embracing all parts of her being, including the flawed and ugly bits. This self-acceptance has allowed her to build deeper connections with others. People have shown up in her life when she needed them, often as a result of prayers and a willingness to risk vulnerability.

Loneliness is not about being alone but about not having a home within ourselves. Building that home, trusting our own landscape, and embracing our entire selves is the key to overcoming loneliness. This journey of self-acceptance and intimacy is ongoing, but it's one that brings us closer to true connection and belonging.

David Wagoner's Lost and the Path to True Connection

It’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble, it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. This quote, attributed to Mark Twain, sets the stage for a deep dive into our relationship with alcohol. 

Do you remember those quizzes asking, "Am I an Alcoholic?" The ones with twenty questions that promise to reveal whether you need a 12-step meeting? Laura took it in her twenties, relieved when she didn't qualify. In her thirties, she gave up midway, irritated by questions like, “Have you given up hobbies or activities you used to enjoy?” Of course, she had.

The real question Laura believes we should be asking isn't, "Am I an alcoholic?" but rather, "How do I feel about my drinking?" The label "alcoholic" can create unnecessary pressure and comparisons, distracting us from the core issue - our well-being. 

One woman wrote to Laura, amazed at how much better she felt after a month without wine. She worried that this improvement meant she was an alcoholic, as if only alcoholics benefit from abstinence. Laura believes the truth is, everyone feels better without alcohol. It’s an addictive substance, affecting everyone, not just those labeled as alcoholics.

In society, we often contrast "alcoholics" with "normal drinkers," making it seem like only the former have problems with alcohol. But Laura asserts the reality is, alcohol is detrimental to everyone. This comparison keeps many people drinking, thinking they’re fine because they’re not as bad as someone else.

Take Laura's friend Aidan, a “gray-area drinker” who decided to quit because his life was better without alcohol. No dramatic story, just a choice for a clearer, calmer existence. Laura believes his story is crucial because quitting without a label is rarely discussed. We feel we need a significant reason to stop, as if a desire for a clear mind and heart isn't enough.

In Laura's own journey, she realized that sobriety isn’t about restricting life but expanding it. She had to let go of the idea that drinking made life bigger and better. Instead, she discovered that alcohol was the obstacle to her Big Life. Sobriety brought a gradual, profound transformation. Laura started to own her life, paying attention to small, significant details - making her bed, paying bills on time, planning playdates. These seemingly mundane tasks were monumental for her, steps towards truly growing up.

As Laura's sobriety deepened, her emotional range expanded. She found joy and gratitude in everyday moments, experienced a full spectrum of emotions, and felt more alive than ever. Laura's life, once narrowed by drinking, became vast and rich in sobriety.

Sobriety also led Laura to address other dependencies, like her reliance on Ambien for sleep. Quitting Ambien was another step towards freedom, allowing her to wake up clear-headed, ready to embrace life fully.

Ultimately, sobriety taught Laura that a "nice little life" is not about boring smallness but about profound richness and authenticity. It’s about answering life's call, being part of something greater, and experiencing the divine dance of existence. Sobriety has been a journey of less Laura and more connection to life, a beautiful, expansive adventure. It’s a nice little life, bigger than she ever imagined.

Is Alcohol Really the Obstacle to Your 'Big Life'? Mark Twain's Wisdom Revisited!

Dealing with anxiety and the weight of a drinking problem requires a shift in perspective—focusing on the present moment rather than the overwhelming idea of "forever." This approach helped Laura navigate sobriety one step at a time. Recovery isn't about never drinking again; it's about choosing not to drink right now.

Support systems, like AA, play a crucial role in overcoming addiction. They provide a community of understanding and acceptance. Even though the journey can be filled with resistance and difficult choices, allowing oneself to be honest and supported is vital.

Sobriety isn't just about abstaining from alcohol but about building a new life guided by self-care and new priorities. This means saying no to people and activities that don't support your well-being. Embracing the discomfort of change is part of the transformation process.

Honesty is liberating. Admitting struggles and taking responsibility for one's actions leads to a life free of the burden of lies. This journey towards integrity and authenticity creates a stronger, more connected existence.

Loneliness often stems from not being at home within oneself. True intimacy and connection come from letting others see and witness our true selves. Building a home within oneself and embracing vulnerability are key to overcoming loneliness.

Reframing the question from "Am I an alcoholic?" to "How do I feel about my drinking?" shifts the focus to personal well-being. Sobriety isn't about labels but about choosing a clearer, richer life. It's a journey of gradual, profound transformation, expanding one's emotional range and connection to life.

Overall, sobriety is about creating a nice little life, filled with authenticity and deep connections, free from the constraints of addiction. It's about living a life that's bigger, richer, and more connected to the essence of being.

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