Curious about the hidden power of desires in shaping our lives and world? Want to learn how our desires, influenced by others, can lead to both innovation and conflict? Ever wondered how impactful leaders, from Whitney Wolfe Herd of Bumble to President Kennedy, harness desires to inspire change? Intrigued by the implications of technology in our desires, as envisioned by futurists like Ray Kurzweil and historians like Yuval Noah Harari? Dive in to explore the fascinating world of desire through the lens of mimetic theory.

Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life

In the realm of human desire, we often deceive ourselves with tales of the "Romantic Lie"—the belief that our desires are purely our own. But as history and psychology reveal, our wants are often shaped by hidden models and mimetic desire. Take Julius Caesar, whose famous "Veni, vidi, vici" could be reframed as "I came, I saw, I desired," showing how his ambitions were molded by his admiration for Alexander the Great.

The theory of mimetic desire, proposed by René Girard, suggests that our desires are influenced by others. This is evident even in newborns, who, as Andrew Meltzoff's research shows, imitate adults' actions and intentions right from birth. Our desires are not born in isolation; they are influenced by models around us, like how a friend's choice of a shirt suddenly becomes desirable.

Edward Bernays, the father of public relations, exploited this mimetic nature to influence public opinion. His campaigns, like convincing women to smoke as a symbol of freedom, demonstrate how hidden models can shape societal desires. The "torches of freedom" campaign used social influencers of the time to shift perceptions, showing how powerful hidden models can be.

In financial markets, mimetic desire can explain phenomena like Tesla's stock surge, driven not by new information but by the desires of investors who followed each other's cues. This mimetic cycle is a force in bubbles and crashes, as desire spreads rapidly through networks of influence.

Understanding and naming these models can help us gain control over our desires. Whether in romance, business, or daily decisions, recognizing the influence of mimetic desire allows us to navigate our wants with greater awareness, avoiding the pitfalls of blindly following the desires modeled by others.

Is Mimetic Desire the Hidden Force Behind Caesar's Ambitions and Tesla's Market Surge?

In the early 1970s, a Reed College freshman, Steve Jobs, embarked on a path that would later influence his journey to becoming a tech icon. His chance encounter with Robert Friedland, a fellow student with a rebellious streak, left a lasting impression on Jobs. 

Friedland's audacity and disregard for societal norms fascinated Jobs, shaping his future approach to innovation and leadership. This encounter is a remarkable illustration of what some call a "reality distortion field," where perception can overpower reality, allowing one to bend desires and expectations.

This concept of reality distortion extends into different realms of desire and imitation, known as mimesis. René Girard, a key figure in mimetic theory, suggests that humans are inherently imitative, often influenced by models or individuals who shape our desires from afar, like celebrities in what Girard calls "Celebristan." These figures hold a safe distance, sparking admiration without direct competition. Conversely, in "Freshmanistan," where people live in close quarters, like classmates or colleagues, desires often lead to rivalries due to proximity and similar ambitions.

The narrative explores how imitation can be a double-edged sword, serving as both a tool for learning and a trap leading to rivalry and distorted perceptions. This is evident in the tech world, where figures like Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos mimicked icons like Steve Jobs, only to face downfall when the imitation went too far. The East Coast-West Coast rap rivalry of the 1990s further exemplifies how mimicry and rivalry can escalate into conflict, culminating in tragic outcomes.

Similarly, consider the modern cult of experts, where authority is often mimetically assigned, challenging us to discern genuine expertise from mere popularity. In today's interconnected world, social media amplifies mimetic desires, transforming our devices into "dream machines" that project others’ desires onto us, creating both opportunities and challenges in navigating our own paths.

Ultimately, we need a critical examination of the models we follow and the desires we chase, cultivate boundaries with unhealthy influences and seek wisdom that withstands the ephemeral tides of mimesis.

Steve Jobs' Reality Distortion Field: From Reed College to Tech Stardom

In August 2019, two families at a California water park got into a massive brawl over a beach towel, leaving one man in a coma. This incident echoes themes from Shakespeare’s "Romeo and Juliet," where similar desires and rivalries lead to chaos. 

Karl Marx believed people fight due to differences, while Shakespeare suggested conflict arises from similarities. This idea is illustrated through the rivalry between Ferruccio Lamborghini and Enzo Ferrari. Lamborghini’s irritation with Ferrari’s cars led him to build superior ones, pushing technological limits and establishing Lamborghini as a top car manufacturer. This rivalry was driven not by a desire for material gain but by a deeper need for honor and respect.

Desire spreads like energy, influencing behaviors and leading to either positive or negative cycles. Positive cycles can lead to innovation and success, as seen with Lamborghini, who leveraged imitation to drive innovation. Conversely, the Downtown Project in Las Vegas, spearheaded by Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh, fell into a negative cycle. Hsieh’s attempt to create a utopian entrepreneurial hub without clear management structures led to chaos and tragedy.

Tony Hsieh’s focus on "return on collisions" aimed to foster serendipitous meetings and innovation, but it also caused stress and confusion due to unclear roles and expectations. The introduction of holacracy at Zappos, intended to eliminate traditional management hierarchies, further exacerbated mimetic rivalries, leading to a breakdown in organizational structure.

Effective leadership requires understanding the impact of decisions on human desires and establishing a clear hierarchy of values to guide behavior. This approach can prevent the destructive effects of unchecked mimetic desire, fostering a positive environment for innovation and growth.

How Did Rivalries Drive Lamborghini to Success but Doomed Tony Hsieh's Downtown Project?

In the dark alleys of New York City from 1977 to 1982, René Girard, a profound thinker, explored the ancient and ongoing human ritual of scapegoating. He proposed that societies, when trapped in chaos, often unite by targeting an individual or group as a scapegoat — a process that diffuses internal conflict by focusing collective aggression on a perceived outsider.

The scapegoat mechanism, Girard noted, has ancient roots. From the biblical ritual of the scapegoat during Yom Kippur to the Greeks' sacrificial pharmakós, cultures have used sacrifice to restore order. This sacrificial process temporarily resolves conflict by uniting people against a common adversary, often someone marginalized or vulnerable. Yet, Girard warned that this ancient solution is deceptive and perpetuates cycles of violence.

In our modern world, this scapegoat mechanism persists, albeit in different forms. From social media mobs to political conflicts, we witness how quickly people find and target scapegoats. This process can escalate into dangerous collective action, as seen in mob behavior or even the fictitious yet illustrative story of pool party chaos, where blame is irrationally placed on an outsider.

Girard also emphasized how narratives can shape our understanding of scapegoating. For instance, the crucifixion of Jesus, a story told from the victim's perspective, exposes the injustice of scapegoating and challenges us to rethink our own roles in cycles of violence.

In a world increasingly aware of victims, modern societies grapple with the legacy of scapegoating. While we strive to protect victims, we must remain vigilant against using the guise of victimhood for power. Girard’s insights urge us to reflect on our participation in scapegoating and to seek paths that transcend this ancient cycle of blame and violence.

Unveiling the Scapegoat: René Girard's Timeless Truths

In the quest to understand desire, it's easy to spot scapegoats and rivalries in others, but that's a distraction from recognizing our own entanglements. Mimetic desire—our tendency to imitate others' wants—can lead to success but often traps us in unfulfilling pursuits. 

David Foster Wallace foresaw a future where our desires, influenced by technology and constant media, would overwhelm us unless we developed internal resilience. This idea of becoming "anti-mimetic" involves cultivating the freedom to resist destructive desires, much like a cultural decelerant.

Consider the story of renowned chef Sébastien Bras, who, in a bold move, asked to be removed from the prestigious Michelin Guide. His journey in the culinary world was marked by milestones: his father's founding of their restaurant, earning three Michelin stars, and eventually stepping into his father's role. However, the constant pressure to maintain these accolades began to stifle his creativity. Bras's decision to step away from the Michelin system wasn't out of bitterness but a desire to pursue genuine culinary expression without external validation.

This narrative highlights the importance of questioning the origins of our desires and whether they truly align with our values. Bras's story illustrates that systems of desire, like the Michelin stars, can dictate our goals until we choose to redefine them. His choice to prioritize personal fulfillment over prestige serves as a model for resisting mimetic traps and seeking authenticity.

Every industry operates within a mimetic system, from education to venture capital, where desires are shaped by external expectations. Understanding these systems allows us to identify and challenge the invisible forces guiding our goals. As Bras demonstrated, it's possible to redefine success on our terms and inspire others to do the same.

In the end, Sébastien Bras found liberation in stepping away from the pursuit of stars, focusing instead on his passion for creating meaningful culinary experiences. His story reminds us that true satisfaction often lies not in external accolades but in staying true to one's values and desires.

Could Sébastien Bras's Bold Break from Michelin Stars Inspire a New Era of Authenticity?

In the late 2000s, Luke Burgis, the author, found himself entangled in a business dilemma that taught him the power of empathy. His company was struggling, and he faced the harsh reality of not being able to pay all his suppliers. Among them was Fyre Pharmaceuticals, represented by Dave Romero, a man who seemed more like a character from a crime drama than a customer relations specialist.

Dave Romero appeared at Luke's door one early morning, with the kind of presence that suggested he could read your soul. Although their past interactions were tense, he surprisingly asked to join a company barbecue Luke was hosting. That night, under the stars and the warmth of a fire pit, Dave asked profound questions, sparking deep conversations about their lives and desires. He confessed to having killed a man and shared his wish to leave his current line of work. His vulnerability encouraged everyone to open up, disrupting the cycle of fear and anxiety with empathy.

This unexpected encounter with Dave illustrated the concept of "disruptive empathy," breaking a negative mimetic cycle. Instead of seeing one another as adversaries, empathy allowed them to connect on a human level. René Girard's theory of mimesis explains how people often mirror each other's negative actions, but empathy can disrupt this cycle and foster understanding.

In the business world, and in life, people often chase "thin desires"—prestige, wealth, superficial success—while neglecting "thick desires," which are deeply fulfilling and enduring. After his conversation with Dave, Luke realized he had been following borrowed desires, not his own. He decided to pause and reorient his life towards thick desires, such as understanding humanity and exploring life's big questions.

To cultivate these thick desires, one must share and listen to stories of deeply fulfilling actions. This process helps uncover core motivational drives—what fundamentally moves individuals. Whether it's the desire to explore, master, or comprehend and express, understanding these drives leads to a more fulfilling life.

In sharing "Fulfillment Stories," people can empathize with others, recognizing what genuinely motivates them. This practice not only enhances personal relationships but also transforms organizational cultures by fostering positive cycles of desire.

Empathy, as Dave Romero demonstrated, can change lives. It allows people to break free from destructive cycles, fostering deeper connections and a path to fulfilling their thick desires.

Empathy Unleashed: How Dave Romero's Story Transformed Business and Life

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry emphasized the importance of teaching people to yearn for more significant goals, rather than just managing tasks.

A prime example of tapping into underdeveloped desires is Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder and CEO of Bumble. Herd’s dating app revolutionized online dating by empowering women to make the first move, even tackling tough markets like India.

Similarly, great leaders, like Toni Morrison, don’t settle for the status quo. Morrison wrote about the lives of young black girls, a subject previously ignored in literature, because she wanted to read such stories herself. True desires are shaped through human interaction, and leaders play a crucial role in molding these desires.

In contrast, immanent desire, which is self-referential and circular, often leads to stagnation and conflict, as depicted in the sitcom "The Office." This contrasts with transcendent desire, which propels people beyond existing paradigms, as seen in historical figures like President Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. Their leadership expanded people’s horizons and inspired change.

Transcendent leaders generate new desires and help people fulfill their greatest aspirations. They shift the center of gravity away from themselves, encourage truth to travel quickly within organizations, discern which desires to pursue, and embrace deep silence for clarity. Montessori’s approach to education, for example, was revolutionary because it awakened children’s natural curiosity and desire to learn.

Ultimately, transcendent leadership is about moving beyond immediate realities to find deeper meaning and helping others do the same. Whether it's through teaching, leading companies, or visionary writing, these leaders inspire and shape desires, creating a ripple effect that transforms lives and societies.

Can Transcendent Leaders Like Whitney Wolfe Herd and Toni Morrison Truly Transform Society's Desires?

What will the future hold for our desires? Futurists like Ray Kurzweil and Ian Pearson predict a world where technology changes what we want, from sex robots to engineered desires. Journalist Allison P. Davis experienced this firsthand when she interacted with a sex robot that mimicked human desire, highlighting the unsettling potential of technology to replicate, and even replace, human emotions.

Historian Yuval Noah Harari poses a critical question: "What do we want to want?" This reflects our growing discomfort in a world where desires can be engineered, leading us to reevaluate how these desires have evolved over time. Our cultural landscape, marked by increasing polarization and stagnation, suggests a crisis of mimetic desire—where we imitate others' desires without finding our own.

René Girard’s mimetic theory suggests our greatest fears come from similarities, not differences. The danger isn't AI robots overtaking us intellectually, but wanting what we want—our jobs, our relationships. We must navigate this mimetic landscape by transforming desires through relationships, rather than engineering them through technology.

In the family, at work, and within our imagination, our desires take shape. Parents must model healthy desires for children, while workplaces should consider the transformation of desires, not just economic output. A compelling example is Dan Price of Gravity Payments, who redefined company success by raising employee salaries, fostering a culture where thick, meaningful desires could flourish.

As we face a mimetic crisis, we need a new social invention to manage our escalating desires, akin to how the scapegoat mechanism and market economy once did. This might be a technological or educational breakthrough that channels desire productively. Until then, we must individually and collectively cultivate thick desires, those worth pursuing, and let go of thin, superficial ones. Inspired by Annie Dillard's weasel, we should grab hold of our deepest desires, allowing them to transform us, guiding us to what truly matters.

In the end, desire is tied to love and responsibility. As we help shape others' desires, we also shape our own. By living with awareness of our mimetic nature, we foster a cycle of positive desire, rooted in love and the shared pursuit of what is good. This transformation is not just personal but collective, as we all play a role in nurturing each other's desires, ensuring they lead to fulfillment and growth.

Ray Kurzweil and Yuval Harari on the Future of Our Engineered Desires

In the world of human desire, we often believe our wants are uniquely ours, but history and psychology suggest otherwise. Take Julius Caesar, whose ambitions mirrored those of Alexander the Great, illustrating René Girard's theory of mimetic desire: our desires are influenced by others. This is evident even in newborns who imitate adults, as Andrew Meltzoff's research shows.

Edward Bernays, the father of public relations, exploited this by shaping societal desires, like his campaign to make smoking a symbol of freedom for women. Similarly, mimetic desire explains phenomena like Tesla's stock surge, driven by investors mimicking each other.

Understanding these influences helps us control our desires. For instance, Steve Jobs's encounter with Robert Friedland at Reed College shaped his future approach to innovation, demonstrating how mimetic influences can drive success. However, unchecked imitation can lead to rivalry and conflict, as seen in the downfall of Theranos's Elizabeth Holmes or the East Coast-West Coast rap rivalry.

In modern times, social media magnifies mimetic desires, making it crucial to discern genuine expertise from popularity. This was evident when Sébastien Bras, a renowned chef, asked to be removed from the Michelin Guide to pursue genuine culinary expression, highlighting the importance of aligning desires with personal values.

Empathy can break the cycle of mimetic rivalry, as seen in Luke's transformative encounter with Dave Romero. Empathy fosters deeper connections and aligns actions with genuine desires, leading to fulfillment.

Great leaders, like Whitney Wolfe Herd of Bumble, inspire significant goals by tapping into undeveloped desires. True leadership transcends immediate realities, creating new desires and inspiring change, as exemplified by President Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr.

As technology evolves, it challenges our desires. Historian Yuval Noah Harari asks, "What do we want to want?" In this mimetic landscape, parents and workplaces must model healthy desires. Dan Price of Gravity Payments redefined success by raising employee salaries, fostering meaningful desires.

Ultimately, desire is tied to love and responsibility. By understanding our mimetic nature, we can foster positive desires, rooted in love and the shared pursuit of what is good, transforming not just ourselves but society as a whole.

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Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life

Luke Burgis

Curious about the hidden power of desires in shaping our lives and world?

Want to learn how our desires, influenced by others, can lead to both innovation and conflict?

Ever wondered how impactful leaders, from Whitney Wolfe Herd of Bumble to President Kennedy, harness desires to inspire change?

Intrigued by the implications of technology in our desires, as envisioned by futurists like Ray Kurzweil and historians like Yuval Noah Harari?

Dive in to explore the fascinating world of desire through the lens of mimetic theory.

Key Ideas

#1