Ever contemplated the philosophical teachings of Buddha and how they can apply to your modern life? Intrigued by the transformative power of confronting mortality, the profound impact of personal choices, or the counter-intuitive approach to happiness? Dive into these intimate narratives and let the profound lessons guide your journey to a more fulfilling life.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Once upon a time, there was a man named Charles Bukowski who was an alcoholic, a womanizer, a gambler, and, on his worst days, a poet. He wanted to be a writer, but his work was constantly rejected. He lived a life of depression and alcohol, working a dead-end job at a post office. He continued this life for thirty years until, at the age of fifty, an editor at a small publishing house took a chance on him.

Bukowski quit his job at the post office to pursue writing full time. He wrote his first novel, ironically titled Post Office, in three weeks. After that, he went on to publish six novels and hundreds of poems, selling over two million copies. Despite his success, Bukowski never changed his lifestyle. He continued to drink, gamble, and live a life of debauchery. His success came not from striving to be better but from accepting himself exactly as he was.

Here's the catch: the epitaph on Bukowski's tombstone reads, "Don't try." How do we make sense of this? 

Well, Bukowski's success came from the acceptance of his negative experiences. He understood that trying to escape the negative or avoid it only backfires. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle itself. To truly live life, we need to learn to give a fuck about less, focusing on what is true, immediate, and important.

The question is, are you stuck in a feedback loop from hell? Are you anxious about being anxious, angry about being angry, or worried about being worried? This is a common trap that many of us fall into. 

The problem is that our society is obsessed with unrealistically positive expectations. We are constantly bombarded with messages to care about everything, all the time. This leads to stress, anxiety, and depression.

The key to a good life is not about avoiding suffering but finding the suffering you can bear. It's about selecting what is worth giving a fuck about. This is not about being indifferent, but about being comfortable with being different. The people who are truly successful are those who are willing to face adversity and failure head-on, those who reserve their fucks for the big things that matter.

So, how can we apply Bukowski's philosophy to our own lives? 

The first step is to accept that life is made up of failures, loss, regrets, and even death. The only way to overcome pain is to first learn how to bear it. We need to learn to lose and let go, to take inventory of our lives and focus only on the most important items. The goal is not to achieve greatness, but to learn how to suffer better, more meaningfully, with more compassion and more humility.

Are you ready to give fewer fucks? Are you ready to "not try"? Because in the end, the art of not giving a fuck is about being comfortable with being different and understanding what truly matters in life. It's about embracing the pain and using it as a tool. It's about turning trauma into power and problems into slightly better problems. It's about accepting that some suffering is inevitable and that's alright. It's about becoming invincible in a low-level spiritual way. Are you ready for that journey?

Can Embracing Charles Bukowski's 'Don't Try' Philosophy Transform Your Life?

In the Himalayan foothills, a king decided to protect his son from all suffering. He built walls around his palace and provided the prince with a life of endless luxury. Yet, the prince grew up dissatisfied and snuck out to discover the world. He saw immense human suffering which led him into an existential crisis. He blamed his father’s wealth for his misery, he left everything behind to live on the street, seeking enlightenment through suffering. After years of hardship, he found suffering meaningless without purpose. 

The prince, who later became known as Buddha, realized that life is a form of suffering. The rich suffer because of their wealth, and the poor due to their poverty. He argued that pain and loss are inevitable and we should stop resisting them. 

Happiness isn’t algorithmic, it cannot be earned or achieved like a professional success. It’s not a solvable equation. Buddha argued this from a theological and philosophical perspective. We suffer because suffering is biologically useful. It's nature's way of inspiring change. Our problems never stop, they just improve. Our own pain and misery aren't bugs in human evolution, they're features. 

We constantly desire what we do not have, leading to dissatisfaction. This constant dissatisfaction is what has kept our species striving and innovating. For instance, negative emotions are a call to action, they are biological signals telling us that something is wrong. Similarly, emotional pain teaches us how to avoid making the same mistakes. It's essential to acknowledge that a problem-free life full of everlasting happiness doesn’t exist. The solution lies in the acceptance and active engagement of negative experiences, not the avoidance of them. 

Happiness requires struggle, it grows from problems. What determines your success isn’t what you want to enjoy, but what pain you want to sustain. You have to choose your struggle, you can't have a pain-free life. It can't all be happiness all the time. Pleasure is the easy question, but the hard question that matters is the pain. What is the pain that you want to sustain? 

Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for. People who enjoy the struggles of a gym are the ones who get fit. People who enjoy long workweeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who succeed. This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes. Our problems birth our happiness, along with slightly better, slightly upgraded problems.

Embracing Suffering: The Buddha's Philosophy on Pain, Struggle and Ultimate Happiness

Meet Jimmy. He's the guy who's always up to something, the one with a never-ending list of business ventures, the one who always seems to be on the move. Yet, despite his impressive list of ideas, he never seems to accomplish anything. He's all talk, no action, living off his family’s wealth and painting illusions of grandeur about his future. 

He's a classic example of someone with an inflated sense of self-worth, always thinking he's on the verge of greatness, despite having achieved nothing of significance. Doesn't this sound familiar in today's society?

The push for high self-esteem and the belief that everyone is meant for something extraordinary has created a culture of entitlement. We're taught to believe that we're all unique and destined for greatness, but the reality is, we're not all exceptional. Merely feeling good about yourself doesn't lead to success. Adversity, failure, and the ability to acknowledge and work on our negative traits do. 

Our society is plagued with people like Jimmy, who feel entitled to success without putting in the work. They delude themselves into believing they're accomplishing great things when in reality, they're not. They crave validation, often resorting to self-aggrandizing or other-aggrandizing. 

In today's digital age, this culture of entitlement is exacerbated. The internet and social media expose us to the extremes - the best of the best and the worst of the worst. This exposure to exceptionalism can make us feel inferior and desperate, fueling our entitlement further. 

But what if we were to accept that most of us are pretty average at most things we do? What if we were to embrace mediocrity? It may seem counterintuitive, but accepting our own mundane existence can actually free us to accomplish what we truly wish to without the pressure of lofty expectations. 

It's time to break free from the tyranny of exceptionalism. It's time to acknowledge that it's okay to be average. It's okay to lead an ordinary life. After all, the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping someone in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about, aren't those what truly matter? So, isn't it time we start valuing them more?

Are We Trapped in the Tyranny of Exceptionalism?

In the later stages of World War II, Hiroo Onoda, a young Japanese lieutenant, was ordered to continue fighting no matter what. He spent nearly three decades in the dense Philippine jungles, carrying out a guerrilla warfare campaign, long after the war ended. Onoda ignored all attempts to convince him the war was over, believing it to be a trick by the American forces. 

It wasn't until 1974 when Norio Suzuki, an adventurer driven by a whimsical desire to find Onoda amidst the jungle, actually found him and convinced him to surrender. The two men, each on their own unique and seemingly pointless quests, had chosen their own form of suffering. They found meaning in their struggles, which made it manageable, even enjoyable. 

Similarly, Dave Mustaine, a founding member of Metallica, was kicked out of the band just before they achieved global success. Mustaine formed another band, Megadeth, which also achieved great success, but in his mind, he was a failure because he couldn't surpass Metallica. Mustaine had chosen a poor metric of success, one that was dependent on external events and not within his control. 

On the other hand, Pete Best, another musician who was kicked out of a band just before it made it big, found happiness in life. After being kicked out of The Beatles, Best fell into depression, but eventually found meaning in his family and a simple life. He redefined his metrics for success and found contentment.

The stories underscore the importance of choosing the right values in life. Good values are reality-based, socially constructive, and immediate and controllable. Bad values are superstitious, socially destructive, and not immediate or controllable. We need to constantly question our values and metrics, choosing those that create good problems that are easily and regularly solved. By choosing better values, we get better problems, leading to a better life. 

So, what values do you hold most dear? Are they serving you, or hindering you from solving your problems and leading a satisfying life? Remember, suffering is inevitable, but the meaning we attach to it isn’t. It's not about stopping the suffering, but rather asking, "why am I suffering and for what purpose?"

Choosing Your Battles: A Tale of World War II, Rock 'n Roll, and the Quest for Better Values

Life is about choices. We often think certain situations are forced upon us, causing us pain. But what if the difference between pain and power is simply our perception of choice and responsibility? Let's take a look at a story.

William James was born into a wealthy family, but he suffered from various health issues since birth. His education suffered, his art career flopped, and he was constantly compared to his more successful siblings. After failing at Harvard Medical School and a dangerous expedition to the Amazon, James ended up as a nearly thirty-year-old failure. He contemplated suicide.

But, in a turn of events, he decided to conduct an experiment. William decided to believe that he was 100% responsible for everything in his life for one year. If nothing improved, he would take his life. 

Guess what? William James became the father of American psychology. His experiment, which he referred to as his "rebirth," led him to realize that while we don't always control what happens to us, we always control how we interpret and respond to those events. 

So, how do we apply this to our lives? We often confuse responsibility and fault. If something bad happens, we immediately look for someone or something to blame. But remember, blaming someone else for your situation doesn't change the fact that it's your responsibility to deal with the consequences. Even if you're a victim of circumstances, you're still responsible for how you react to it. 

Likewise, blaming ourselves for everything isn't the solution either. It's about recognizing that we are responsible for our reactions, interpretations, and choices, no matter the situation. And, as we choose our values and metrics, we must remember that we are always choosing, whether we consciously recognize it or not. 

Remember, life is about choices. So, what are you choosing to care about today?

Can Your Perception of Choices and Responsibilities Transform Your Life Like it Did for William James?

Five hundred years ago, we had some pretty odd beliefs. We thought California was an island, that fire was made of something called phlogiston, and that cutting open a person's arm could cure disease. Similarly, we all have some personal misconceptions. For example, the author used to think "mediocre" was a vegetable. And that happiness was a destiny rather than a choice.

As the author grew up, they realized they were wrong about these things. And that's okay because learning that we're wrong is how we grow. We go from being wrong to being slightly less wrong, and this process continues indefinitely. This is the endless iterative process of growth.

But here's the catch: we often resist admitting we're wrong because it can threaten our identity. The more something challenges our self-perception, the more we'll avoid it. This is what is referred to as Manson's Law of Avoidance, named after the author himself.

So, how can we become better at admitting we're wrong? Start by asking yourself these three questions:

1. What if I'm wrong?
2. What would it mean if I were wrong?
3. Would being wrong create a better or a worse problem than my current problem, for both myself and others?

Answering these questions will help you challenge your beliefs and open yourself up to growth. So, don't shy away from questioning yourself. Embrace uncertainty and keep pushing your boundaries. After all, we're all wrong about something. The trick is in being less wrong tomorrow than we are today.

Embracing Uncertainty: The Power of Questioning Our Beliefs for Personal Growth

Entering the adult world with failure isn't always a bad thing, especially when you start at rock bottom. Imagine graduating college in the midst of a financial collapse and a recession, dealing with a deadbeat roommate, and ending up on a friend's couch trying to avoid debt whilst looking for a "real job". It's tough, but it's also liberating because there's nowhere to go but up. 

You should always look for the silver lining in adverse situations. It's about embracing failure and using it as a stepping stone to success. Is it scary to start a blog and an internet business when you're already struggling? Absolutely. But if everything fails, you're just back where you started. So, why not give it a try?

Your metric for success shouldn't just be money; it should be about freedom and autonomy. Ask yourself the same question as the author: "Would I rather make decent money and work a job I hated, or try being an Internet entrepreneur and be broke for a while?" His answer was clear: he'd choose the latter. Failure, for him, was not pursuing his own projects. Not an empty bank account, not sleeping on friends’ and family’s couches, but not going after what he wanted.

Remember Picasso? He once doodled on a napkin in a café, and when a woman offered to buy it, he asked for twenty thousand dollars. She was shocked, considering it took him only two minutes to draw it. But Picasso replied, “No, ma'am. It took me over sixty years to draw this.” The key takeaway is that success is based on thousands of tiny failures. 

Failure teaches us resilience and groundedness. It's part of the process of growth. A Polish psychologist, Kazimierz Dabrowski, found that many World War II survivors felt that their traumatic experiences had made them better, more responsible, and even happier people. 

But what happens when we're stuck? What happens when we're faced with questions we don't know how to answer? The solution is simple: just do something. Even if you're not sure what you're doing, the simple act of starting can lead to inspiration and motivation. This is the "do something" principle.

In the end, the key to embracing failure is action. Whether you're trying to start a new business, change careers, or turn your life around, the answer is always the same: do something. Because often, it's not success that pushes us forward, but failure.

Could Embracing Failure Be Your Stairway to Success?

In 2009, the author - a young entrepreneur at the time - set off to Latin America to build his business and experience different cultures. He was living the digital nomad lifestyle, traveling from country to country, meeting new people, and having diverse experiences. However, beneath the surface, he was harboring a deep sense of shame and commitment issues.

While he was able to meet, befriend, love, and have relationships with anyone he wanted, he couldn't commit to a single person, social group, city, or culture. This led him to bounce across countries and oceans, in a game of global hopscotch that lasted over five years. Despite the incredible experiences he had, he began to realize that they had no lasting significance.

Now living in New York with a wife and a settled life, he learned that absolute freedom, by itself, means nothing. Meaning and importance in life come through a rejection of alternatives, a choice of commitment to one place, one belief, or one person. Contrary to popular belief, there is freedom and liberation in commitment. Commitment hones your attention and focus, directing them toward what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy. 

What does it take to fully commit to something? To truly appreciate something, one must confine oneself to it. There's a certain level of joy and meaning that is reached in life only when decades are invested in a single relationship, a single craft, a single career. And achieving those decades of investment requires rejecting alternatives.

In fact, rejection is an important and crucial life skill.  Our society indoctrinates us with the belief that we should be accepting and affirmative. But without rejection, we stand for nothing. Avoiding rejection leads to a directionless life. As it stands, honest communication and the ability to say and hear the word “no” are essential in improving relationships and making emotional lives healthier.


Finding Freedom in Commitment: A Globetrotter's Journey to Self-Discovery

On the edge of a cliff, overlooking a lake just north of Dallas, Texas, a teenage boy named Josh makes a darkly ironic statement to his friend, "Seek the truth for yourself, and I will meet you there.” Unbeknownst to them, this would be the last conversation they'd ever have. Hours later, after a fatal jump from the cliff, Josh's body is recovered by divers. His death profoundly impacts his friend, leading him into a deep depression. 

In the midst of his grief, the friend starts to dream about Josh, finding wisdom in his words and actions. He realizes that he's been avoiding what's painful and uncomfortable, essentially avoiding being alive. This realization prompts him to make significant changes in his life. He abandons his unhealthy habits and starts working hard, excelling academically and socially. His friend's death becomes a catalyst for a transformation, teaching him to live life to the fullest. As you may have guessed, the friend was none other than the author himself.

This story illustrates the significance of confronting our mortality. By acknowledging the inevitability of death, we can make more meaningful choices in life. We can choose to prioritize values that are more important than our insecurities and fears. We can choose to contribute to something larger than ourselves. In doing so, we find real happiness and purpose. 

In a world where we are so often consumed by trivialities and entitlement, the reminder of our mortality brings us back to reality. It forces us to ask the important question: What is your legacy? How will the world be different and better when you're gone? It encourages us to make our life's hurricanes worthwhile. 

So, have you considered your mortality lately? What legacy do you want to leave behind? It's a tough question, but it's also an essential one. Because at the end of the day, the only certainty we have is death. Let it be the compass that guides your decisions and values.

Have You Considered Your Mortality? What Legacy Will You Leave Behind?

The idea of living a "good life" is often associated with relentless positivity and the acquisition of more - wealth, beauty, success. However, this mindset can lead to dissatisfaction as we're constantly reminded of what we lack. Rather than focusing on achieving more, we should focus on caring less about what doesn't truly matter.

Life is full of adversity, and it's not about avoiding struggles, but finding the ones you enjoy dealing with. As we age, we should become more selective about the things we care about, focusing our energy on what truly matters. This way, we can embrace the fact that life is imperfect, and that's what makes it beautiful.

A common misconception is that happiness can be earned or achieved like professional success. However, happiness is not a solvable equation. We suffer because suffering is biologically useful - it inspires change. We constantly desire what we do not have, leading to dissatisfaction, but this dissatisfaction is what drives us to strive and innovate. So, rather than avoiding negative experiences, we should accept and actively engage with them. Ultimately, our success is not determined by what we enjoy, but by what pain we are willing to sustain.

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