Interested in discovering the true essence of leadership? Want to understand the key difference between power and authority? What if love, as a verb, holds the secret to effective leadership? Follow the fictional journey of a successful (but arrogant) executive, John Daily, who discovers the true meaning of leadership through a series of profound experiences.

The Servant: A Simple Story About the True Essence of Leadership

Dale Carnegie once said, "The ideas I stand for are not my own. I borrowed them from Socrates, I swiped them from Chesterfield, I stole them from Jesus. And if you don’t like their ideas, whose ideas would you rather use?" This notion of borrowing wisdom kept resonating with John Daily, a busy general manager of a large manufacturing plant, as he found himself reluctantly heading to a monastery in northern Michigan for a week-long retreat.

With five daily chapel services, chanting, and communal living, this was far from John's usual comfort zone. The name Simeon had haunted him all his life, cropping up at significant moments—his baptism, confirmation, wedding, and even in recurring dreams where an old man in a hooded robe would urge him, "Find Simeon and listen to him!"

By the late 1990s, John seemed to have it all—a thriving career, a beautiful home, a loving wife named Rachael, and two miracle children, John Jr. and Sarah. Yet, beneath the surface, his life was unraveling. His marriage was strained, his relationship with his kids was deteriorating, and work was becoming increasingly stressful.

Rachael, always the more hopeful and spiritual one, suggested John talk to their pastor, who recommended a retreat at a monastery called John of the Cross. Surprisingly, one of the monks there was a former Fortune 500 executive named Leonard Hoffman, now Brother Simeon. This caught John's attention, and despite his reservations, he agreed to go.

Upon arriving at the monastery, John met Brother Peter and soon discovered that Brother Simeon would be teaching a leadership class during the retreat. The first meeting with Brother Simeon was surreal. Here was this business legend, now a monk, fixing a toilet—an act that left him feeling both humbled and starstruck.

In their first session, Brother Simeon emphasized the difference between power and authority. While power is the ability to force someone to do your will, authority is about getting people to willingly follow you because of your personal influence. This struck a chord with John, especially when he thought about his strained relationships at home and work.

Throughout the week, they discussed the importance of relationships and trust in leadership. Brother Simeon challenged them to think about people who had led them with authority and to identify the qualities that made them influential. Traits like honesty, caring, and respect topped the list—none of which people are born with but can develop through conscious effort.

As the days passed, the monotonous chant of the chapel services began to center John, and the structured life at the monastery allowed him time for reflection—a rarity in his usual hectic life. Conversations with his roommate, Pastor Lee, and other retreat participants from diverse backgrounds added layers of insight.

By the end of the retreat, John realized the profound impact relationships and trust have on effective leadership. As Brother Simeon put it, "Leadership is about getting things done through people, balancing tasks and relationships." This was a revelation for John, someone who had always focused more on the bottom line than the people he led.

Returning home, John felt a mix of exhaustion and enlightenment. He knew he had a long way to go in applying these principles, but for the first time in years, he felt a glimmer of hope. He had found Simeon, and now it was time to listen and transform.

Can a Monastery Retreat with a Former Fortune 500 Executive Turn a Struggling Manager into Influential Leader?

John dragged himself out of bed at 4:45 AM to meet Simeon for an early discussion. Despite John's apologies, Simeon was cheerful and eager to chat. He pointed out a flaw John had long ignored—his habit of interrupting others, a behavior that frustrated his wife, Rachael, and even led a former employee to call him the worst listener he'd ever met. 

Simeon stressed that cutting people off sends disrespectful messages: it shows you're not listening, not valuing their opinions, and believing your own words are more important.

Simeon listened intently as John shared his story and recurring dream, showing genuine interest. He suggested that the unconscious mind holds untapped riches, reiterating that joy doesn’t come from material things but from the simple, free pleasures of life.

In the classroom, Greg, a young and rather cocky drill sergeant from the U.S. Army, voiced his struggle with the principles discussed. Simeon explained paradigms as psychological patterns that can become dangerous if we cling to them rigidly. Misplaced paradigms, like a little girl's fear of all men due to an abusive father, can lead to severe difficulties later in life. We must continuously challenge our paradigms to adapt to new information and changing times.

Simeon outlined the outdated top-down management model, akin to military hierarchies, where everyone looks upward to please their boss, neglecting the customer. He proposed an inverted pyramid, placing the customer on top and emphasizing a leader's role in serving their team to best serve the customer. This paradigm shift suggests that leaders should remove obstacles for their employees, much like pavement levelers.

Simeon clarified that leadership is about meeting people's needs, not their wants. Wants are desires without regard for consequences, while needs are legitimate requirements for well-being. Leaders must be flexible, recognizing the different needs of their people.

Using Maslow's hierarchy of needs, they discussed that basic needs like fair wages and safety must be met first. Higher needs like belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization follow, pushing individuals to be the best they can be. The session ended with a humorous note as they marched out singing the Army jingle, "Be all that you can be," echoing the idea of striving for one's best.

Redefining Leadership: The Paradigm Shift from Pleasing Bosses to Serving Teams

The lesson began with Simeon, the ever-punctual teacher, greeting John in the early morning chapel. John, irritated by Greg's disruptive behavior, learned a valuable lesson about differing opinions from Simeon’s past. Simeon recounted his time as a young vice president, clashing with extreme, opposing viewpoints. His boss, Bill, taught him that these opposing views helped balance and strengthen the company’s decisions.

Theresa then sparked a debate on the greatest leader of all time. Simeon firmly named Jesus Christ, emphasizing His unparalleled influence and authority built without power, but through service. Despite Greg’s resistance, Simeon illustrated how Jesus’ servant leadership style, devoid of force, influenced billions over millennia.

The conversation shifted to modern examples like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. Gandhi's nonviolent resistance and King’s Civil Rights movement exemplified achieving monumental change through service and sacrifice, not power. The group reflected on how these leaders served their causes, influencing the world without force.

Greg still struggled to see how these principles applied to everyday life. Simeon explained that authority in leadership is always rooted in serving and sacrificing for others. This law of the harvest—reaping what you sow—applies universally, from personal relationships to professional settings.

Simeon introduced "love" as a critical component of leadership, clarifying that love in this context means actions, not feelings. He described this as aligning intentions with actions, forming true will. The ultimate leadership model he presented was clear: leadership stems from the will to love (serve and meet needs), which builds authority, earning the right to lead.

The day ended with the group embracing the idea that true leadership is about identifying and meeting legitimate needs, a simple yet profound job description. Even the skeptical Greg showed signs of acceptance, nodding in agreement as they adjourned.

Could Jesus, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. Hold the Secret to Effective Leadership?

It was four AM on a Wednesday, and John was wide awake, pondering the extraordinary retreat he was attending. Despite some annoyances, the experience was captivating, especially the wisdom of Simeon, their facilitator. 

Simeon had an uncanny ability to extract profound insights from simple principles, leaving John wide-eyed late into the night. Simeon's attentive listening made John feel valued and his unflappable nature showed true security and joy.

One morning, arriving early to the chapel, John found Simeon meditating. When Simeon asked John what he'd been learning, he mentioned Simeon's leadership model, which Simeon humbly attributed to Jesus. Their conversation turned to the essence of love, which Simeon explained was not just about feelings but about behaviors and choices—a concept that initially seemed alien to John.

Simeon shared his own journey from atheism to understanding love not as a fleeting emotion but as deliberate actions rooted in kindness, patience, and respect. He introduced them to the Greek words for love, emphasizing "agapé," the unconditional love Jesus spoke of—a love of behavior and choice, not feelings.

They explored the idea that true leadership is about extending oneself for others through acts of love, such as patience (self-control), kindness (attention and encouragement), humility (authenticity), respectfulness (treating others as important), selflessness (meeting others' needs), forgiveness (letting go of resentment), honesty (being free from deception), and commitment (sticking to choices). These behaviors, Simeon argued, were the foundation of leadership and authority.

Their group discussions brought these concepts to life. The sergeant's initial skepticism about treating everyone with respect transformed into reluctant acceptance, and they all shared personal insights that underscored the importance of these principles in leadership.

By the end of their sessions, it was clear: love, as a verb, is about extending oneself for the benefit of others, embodying the true essence of leadership. This retreat was not just about John learning new concepts but about him experiencing a paradigm shift in understanding what it means to lead with love.

Leading with Love: The Transformative Power of Agapé in Leadership

John glanced at the bedside clock; it was 3 AM on Thursday and he was wide awake, pondering life’s big questions. Simeon’s teachings had left him in deep thought, particularly about love and purpose.

Arriving early at the chapel, John was eager to discuss what he’d been learning with Simeon. They explored the concept of love, not as a feeling but as an action. Simeon clarified a commonly misquoted verse, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” explaining that it assumes we already love ourselves and should extend that same love to others, even when it's challenging.

Their conversation shifted to the importance of creating a healthy environment for growth, using the metaphor of gardening. Just as plants need the right conditions to thrive, so do people. Kim, a birthing nurse, and others shared examples highlighting this principle, from healthy wombs to loving home environments.

Simeon emphasized the role of leaders in creating such environments. He introduced the concept of “relational bank accounts” from Stephen Covey’s work, explaining that positive actions are deposits and negative actions are withdrawals. Public praise makes deposits, while public punishment makes costly withdrawals.

During a walk, John reflected on his past leadership, feeling both excited and ashamed. Back in the session, Simeon shared a study showing it takes four positive actions to offset one negative. This underscored the need for careful, respectful interactions.

They discussed the challenge of leading under power-oriented superiors. Simeon shared stories of finding exceptional leaders who fostered positive environments even in dysfunctional organizations. One memorable story involved the strict yet respectful culture at a Mazda-Ford plant, showing how behavior could be legislated effectively.

Simeon reminded them that while they can’t change others, they can create the conditions for them to choose change. The session wrapped up with examples of successful environments, like the Ritz Carlton and Lou Holtz’s football teams, where respect and enthusiasm were non-negotiable.

This reinforced for John that a healthy environment is crucial for growth, be it in gardens or human beings, and that leaders play a pivotal role in nurturing this growth.

Can Leaders Create the Perfect Conditions for Personal Growth?

Friday morning in the chapel, John shared his struggle with legislating behavior in his supervisory team. Simeon shared wisdom from his business days, emphasizing the importance of leadership behavior over extensive employee manuals. Simeon’s insights often traced company issues back to leadership rather than individual employees.

John related this to his wife’s work with dysfunctional families, where children’s misbehavior often stemmed from parental issues. Simeon cited a wise general: “There are no weak platoons, only weak leaders,” suggesting that leadership failures often manifest in broader organizational problems.

The conversation shifted to praxis, the concept that behavior influences feelings. Simeon explained that positive actions towards others can foster positive feelings over time. For instance, Tony Campolo’s method for rekindling romance in troubled marriages involves couples treating each other as they did during courtship. This practice shows that feelings follow behavior.

Simeon acknowledged the difficulty of initiating positive behavior towards those we dislike, likening it to building emotional muscles through practice. He emphasized responsibility and choice in leadership, quoting Viktor Frankl’s transformative experience in concentration camps, which led him to renounce determinism and assert human self-determination.

Simeon shared a profound lesson from his sixth-grade teacher, Mr. Caimi, who taught that beyond death and taxes, the only inevitability in life is making choices. This framed the importance of aligning actions with intentions in leadership.

To illustrate choice, the group discussed identical twins and conjoined twins with different personalities despite shared genes and environment. 

Simeon concluded with the stages of developing new habits, from unconscious and unskilled to unconscious and skilled, highlighting that leadership and character are about substance and habit. Building character through patience, kindness, humility, and other virtues was seen as essential for lasting leadership success.

Leadership Decoded: The Power of Choice and Actions in Building Successful Teams

On the final morning, as the sun began to rise, John found himself in deep thought next to Simeon. "What's the most important thing you've learned this week, John?" Simeon asked. After pondering, John replied, "I think 'love,' the verb, is crucial."

Simeon smiled and shared a story about a scribe who questioned Jesus about the most important commandment. Jesus simply answered, "Love God and love your neighbor." This conversation revealed to John that love, more than rituals or rules, is the essence of a fulfilling life.

Throughout the week, Simeon never preached or imposed his beliefs but lived as an example of selflessness and service. He explained that breaking down his pride and ego through service brought him indescribable joy. "Serving here is selfish," he admitted, "because it brings me joy."

Chris, a women’s basketball coach, drew parallels with sports, saying, "Discipline brings rewards. Think of rollerblading, John. The effort you put in brings clarity, spiritual connection, and physical benefits." This principle applies to any committed discipline, including leadership.

Building influence through service and sacrifice gives leaders a mission and purpose, as Greg noted. "The Army gives us a reason to get up in the morning," he said. This sense of mission is essential for students, too, as the principal highlighted, preventing them from turning to destructive behaviors.

They discussed the importance of reflection, risk-taking, and leaving a legacy. A sociological study of nonagenarians revealed their top three regrets: not taking more risks, not reflecting enough, and not doing more that would outlive them. This resonated deeply with the group.

Leading with authority means extending ourselves for others, breaking down our self-centered walls, and growing. The nurse mentioned that our ego and pride often get in the way. All great religions teach overcoming selfishness, often referring to it as sin.

Simeon summarized that leading with authority brings joy—not fleeting happiness but deep, inner satisfaction. Serving others breaks the shackles of self-absorption and aligns us with life's unchanging principles.

As they concluded, Greg humorously reminded them that intentions without actions are meaningless. Theresa, a public school principal, added, "Continuing to do what you've always done and hoping for different results is insanity." Laughter filled the room, but they knew the truth behind the words.

Simeon closed with a heartfelt message: "I pray that your journey through life will be adjusted by even a few degrees from our time together. A few degrees may not matter on a short journey, but for the long journey of life, it can lead you to a completely different place. Good luck and God bless each of you".

Can Love and Discipline Redefine Your Leadership Journey?

John Daily, a successful yet stressed general manager, found his life and relationships deteriorating. He sought help through a week-long retreat at a monastery in northern Michigan, led by Brother Simeon, a former Fortune 500 executive. 

Throughout the retreat, Brother Simeon taught John and other participants about the essence of leadership, emphasizing the importance of authority over power, and relationships and trust over tasks. These insights reshaped John's understanding of leadership, prompting him to focus more on people than the bottom line. 

Simeon further emphasized the importance of love, respect, and service in leadership, with love being action-oriented rather than emotion-based. He encouraged his students to challenge their paradigms, create healthy environments for growth and to meet people's needs rather than their wants. Simeon also stressed the importance of listening to others, being honest, caring, and respectful, and meeting others' needs. 

Through the course of the retreat, John experienced a paradigm shift, realizing that leadership is about extending oneself for others, creating a healthy environment for growth, and aligning actions with intentions. He learned the importance of reflection, risk-taking, and leaving a lasting legacy. Upon returning home, John felt hopeful and enlightened, ready to apply these principles to his personal and professional life.

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