Ever wondered how a simple daily routine of choosing a tie can strengthen your marital bond? What can we learn from Moses about delegating tasks and avoiding burnout? Do you know how a small act of love can transform our lives and relationships? Dive into this engaging narrative that sheds light on enhancing relationships, managing stress, and discovering the power of small acts of love.

The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands

Brooke, Lysa TerKeurst's youngest daughter, has a unique talent for turning drive-thru orders into a comedic spectacle. Despite knowing the menu by heart—her dad runs the place—she freezes at the crucial moment. This indecision creates a mounting pressure cooker of honks and stares from the line behind them. Lysa mutters threats of leftovers or toast if she can't decide, yet the real lesson isn't just about fast food. It's about choices and the fear of missing out on the "best" one. 

This drive-thru dilemma mirrors Lysa's own life struggles. She juggles decisions, fearing she'll miss opportunities or let God down. She misuses "yes" and "no," caught in a whirlwind of people-pleasing. In her quest to be everything for everyone, she forgets to listen for the whispers of her "Best Yes." This notion is about aligning with God's plan, playing her part, and making decisions that resonate with enduring wisdom.

Last Christmas, Lysa was swept away by holiday chaos, losing sight of what truly mattered. She bought $97 worth of things at Target but forgot the wrapping paper. She snapped at her husband, Art, when he suggested helping an employee in need. Her self-absorption had blinded her to a family's pain, something she'd asked God to reveal to her that very morning.

In the aftermath, Lysa realized how easily the rush of life made her rebellious, ignoring simple acts of kindness and missing God's quiet invitations. It hit her that unbroken companionship with God requires listening and obeying His subtle nudges, even in the ordinary moments. When Lysa finally paused to help that family, it wasn't about the money—it was about opening her heart to God's direction.

Through these experiences, Lysa learned the value of seeking instruction before direction. By tuning into God's whispers, she discovered her true path. This journey isn't about grand gestures but about the small, everyday choices that align with our "Best Yes." Now, let's explore this concept further and embrace the assignments God has for us.

Can A Drive-Thru Dilemma Teach Us About Finding Our Best Yes?

Consider the story of Dick Fosbury, an athlete who revolutionized the high jump. Instead of following the traditional method, Fosbury flipped things around by going headfirst and backward, setting an Olympic record. This technique, now known as the "Fosbury Flop," transformed the sport. His story made Lysa think about how we make decisions in life. Often, we let others dictate our schedules, leaving us exhausted and unfulfilled. What if we dared to change our approach like Fosbury?

Imagine taking time to pursue that dream that's been lingering in the back of your mind. Maybe it's writing a book, starting a business, or getting out of debt. We often let these dreams slip away because we don't schedule time for them. Lysa realized this when she wanted to write a book. Her weeks were packed, but she carved out 3.5 hours for writing and stuck to it. That small commitment turned into multiple books and articles, reaching people in ways she never imagined.

One day, two women approached Lysa at a book signing, showing her a picture of a teenager. They said, "He is alive because of your words." Years earlier, they read an article of Lysa that inspired them to support their daughter through an unexpected pregnancy, saving a life. That moment reminded Lysa how powerful it is to follow our God-given passions.

We need to be intentional with our decisions, trusting the wisdom God gives us. Sometimes, we overthink and complicate things, like when Lysa hesitated to open a mysterious box, fearing the worst. It turned out to be a dorm fridge. We can make better decisions by seeking God's wisdom and applying it in our daily lives.

A wise woman in the Bible once saved her town from destruction by using her wisdom. She didn't have to convince anyone; they trusted her judgment. Like her, we can build a lifestyle of wisdom through everyday experiences. By doing so, we prepare ourselves for both ordinary and extraordinary moments.

So, let's not let fear, foolishness, or unchecked feelings complicate our decisions. Instead, let's look for God's hand in everything, apply wisdom, and make decisions that honor Him. Whether it's pursuing a passion or tackling a challenge, let's be fearless Fosburys, flipping our approach and living more fulfilled lives.

Flip Your Life: Be Fearless Like Fosbury

In a moment of decision fatigue, Lysa found herself grappling with a challenging choice. A dear family friend, a lovely young woman, needed a place to stay. Lysa's heart wanted to help, but her mind was conflicted. The spare bedroom was available, and financially, it was manageable. 

Spiritually, it aligned with her values of kindness and hospitality. But emotionally? That was the sticking point. With a busy household and numerous commitments, she questioned whether she had the emotional bandwidth to accommodate another person.

Lysa turned to wisdom from Proverbs and Luke, contemplating the importance of counting the cost and considering her capacity. Despite feeling pressured to say yes, she realized that sometimes saying no is a form of self-respect and self-preservation. She reflected on the truth that God doesn’t expect people to overextend themselves; instead, He offers guidance and rest when they feel burdened.

In seeking clarity, Lysa came to understand that saying no wasn’t unloving. It was about maintaining a healthy attitude of love and ensuring that her actions reflected God’s will. This decision wasn’t solely about her; it was also an opportunity for her friend to experience God’s provision elsewhere. And indeed, her friend found a cozy condo that suited her perfectly.

Reflecting on this situation, Lysa realized the importance of carefully considering decisions, as they chart the course of life. Whether it’s a small choice, like resisting a tempting latte, or a significant one, like determining where to invest emotional energy, each decision sets individuals on a path. Proverbs reminded her that the prudent foresee danger and adjust their course, a lesson valuable at any stage in life.

In her relationships, like with her husband, Art, Lysa learned that communication is key. Allowing anger to fester can create distance, but talking things through nurtures connection. She understood that decisions—whether big or small—shape the future. By seeking God’s wisdom and considering the long-term implications, Lysa believed that people could align their lives with their true purpose and potential.

Can Saying No Sometimes Be the Most Loving Decision?

When Lysa was a child, the monkey bars were both thrilling and terrifying to her. She would watch other kids swing effortlessly from one bar to the next while she sat on the swing, too afraid to give it a try. On one occasion, she attempted the monkey bars but froze midway, causing a line to form behind her. Embarrassed, she stood there until a teacher had to help her down, which only solidified her fear that she was incapable of succeeding.

This fear of failure, Lysa reflects, often paralyzes people when it comes to decision-making, leading to what is commonly known as analysis paralysis. It causes individuals to overthink, seek endless opinions, and fear making the wrong choice. Lysa shares an example of Chris, a young woman she knows, who is so terrified of making a wrong decision that she avoids making any decision at all. This extends to even simple choices, like picking pasta at the grocery store, let alone more significant decisions about her life's direction.

Lysa believes that influences like helicopter parenting and certain teachings within the church have instilled in many a debilitating fear of failure and making mistakes. However, she emphasizes the importance of understanding that faith grows when one takes steps in trust, even if those steps lead to mistakes. She cites Proverbs 3:5-6, which, in various translations, highlights the significance of trusting God rather than relying solely on human understanding.

According to Lysa, there are five key parts to making a decision: Trusting God, Analyzing, Making the decision, Owning it, and then Trusting God again for the outcome. She explains that trusting God shifts the focus from the fear of failure to the possibilities of how He might use one's decisions, whether they result in success or failure.

Lysa recalls a recent experience where she mistakenly followed the wrong red SUV while driving to a webcast and ended up at a stranger’s house. This incident reminded her of an important principle: "We steer where we stare." Similarly, in decision-making, focusing on failure keeps people stuck, whereas focusing on God’s potential to use their decisions can empower them to move forward.

Reflecting on her childhood experience with the monkey bars, Lysa suggests that a teacher’s encouragement to let go and try again might have been more helpful than simply assisting her down. She also shares the story of her daughter, who broke her arm on the monkey bars but eventually healed and continued to climb. Sometimes, Lysa notes, overcoming the fear of failure is harder than recovering from a fall.

Through a social media survey, Lysa discovered that fear is the primary reason many people struggle with decision-making. She reassures readers that there is no such thing as a perfect decision, only a perfectly surrendered decision made in trust. Every decision will have elements of both good and bad, but human imperfections cannot override God’s promises. She reminds readers of the assurance that God works for the good of those who love Him.

Lysa concludes by encouraging others not to let fear paralyze them. She urges them to make decisions in faith, trusting that God will use their choices for good. She challenges readers to release their grip, reach for the next bar, and trust that, even if they fall, the ground isn’t far away.

Overcoming Fear: Lessons from Monkey Bars to Life Decisions

In the journey of discerning a "Best Yes," one essential layer is "show up to practice." This concept is beautifully illustrated through the story of Ashley, a young pole-vaulter, who initially struggled in the sport but through relentless dedication, managed to set a new school record. 

Her triumph wasn't merely about clearing higher bars but about consistently showing up, practicing, and applying her coach's feedback day after day. This commitment to practice echoes the biblical wisdom from Proverbs, emphasizing the importance of seeking and applying wisdom consistently.

The pursuit of wisdom is likened to the preparation and diligence seen in Ashley's training. Wisdom, personified as a woman in Proverbs, contrasts sharply with folly. While wisdom is prepared, organized, and leads to life, folly is lazy and leads to ruin. This analogy extends to everyday decisions, reminding us that wisdom requires consistent effort and practice to be effective when it matters most.

An amusing hypothetical scenario further drives this point home: if the author, lacking Ashley’s preparation, attempted pole vaulting, the results would be vastly different, underscoring that preparation and practice are crucial for success.

Unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration and disappointment. Using personal anecdotes, such as the author’s ill-fated car purchase and a stressful job, the importance of evaluating expectations before committing is highlighted. Questions to consider include the long-term impact of a yes, the presence of forced or frantic feelings, and the influence of people-pleasing.

A friend's story about declining a board member position further illustrates how evaluating expectations can prevent future frustration. By carefully considering the demands and aligning them with available time and prior commitments, one can make decisions that honor existing obligations and maintain balance.

In essence, making wise decisions involves showing up to practice, seeking consistent wisdom, and managing expectations realistically. Through engaging stories and practical advice, the author encourages readers to build wisdom through daily practice and thoughtful evaluation of their commitments.

Can You Achieve Success by Simply Showing Up to Practice?

One day, Lysa had to make a difficult call regarding a bill from a contractor who had botched home repairs. Nervously, she dialed the number, silently hoping to reach voicemail, but the contractor answered. As Lysa attempted to address the issue, the contractor asked for a recommendation. 

Though he was kind, endorsing him would not have been truthful. Lysa knew she had to exercise what she calls the "small no," choosing honesty to prevent larger issues down the line. Despite the initial discomfort, they eventually reached an understanding and avoided future complications.

Lysa believes in the power of the "small no." She explains that delaying or avoiding it often leads to bigger disappointments. According to her, it’s better to manage expectations upfront. She admires her friend Glynnis, an editor, who embodies this principle. Glynnis declines articles when necessary but always provides constructive feedback, turning rejection into an opportunity for growth. Lysa emphasizes that small "no" answers, when delivered with kindness, can be gifts.

However, Lysa clarifies that saying "no" should not be used to shirk responsibilities or cause harm to others. It’s about establishing healthy boundaries in a thoughtful way. She shares examples of friends who do this well—one schedules specific times to help others, maintaining balance, while another uses annual conferences as a way to mentor many people at once, rather than overcommitting to individual meetings.

Lysa also highlights the importance of using the "small no" when navigating major decisions. She recounts the story of her friend Wes, who faced a tough choice about buying a flight school. After carefully weighing the implications, Wes decided against it, avoiding potential debt and stress.

Sometimes, Lysa notes, keeping appointments with God requires overcoming the discomfort of disappointing others. She recalls attending an awards event where she felt out of place. However, during the event, she had a meaningful conversation with someone who needed encouragement, reminding her of the importance of following God’s prompting.

Ultimately, Lysa explains that saying "no" allows individuals to prioritize their "Best Yes"—the commitments and callings that truly matter. She draws inspiration from Caleb in the Bible, who stood firm in his convictions despite opposition. Lysa encourages others to focus on what God calls them to do, even if it means disappointing others. She urges readers to embrace the strength and courage to make the right choices, trusting that God is always with them.

Mastering the Small No for Bigger Life Gains: Lessons from Glynnis & Wes

Let's talk about the elephant in the room—people-pleasing. It's that big, awkward presence we can't ignore, but don't want to face. We dread saying yes and feel powerless to say no because we fear people not liking us. This leads us to do things that make us unhappy. We need to acknowledge that it's impossible to please everyone, and trying to will only make us miserable.

Dr. Howard Hendricks once spoke about "Keeping the Elephants Off Your Air Hose." When an elephant sits on your air hose, you can't breathe. This is what happens when we try to please everyone—we suffocate. Lysa knows this firsthand. She wanted people to like her.

When Lysa's kids were little, she tried to reshape her fellow moms' opinions of her. She painted pictures of her life to make them think she was a good mom. But it backfired. During a preschool event, her daughter’s drawing humorously depicted Lysa's favorite place as "in bed with Daddy." It was a mortifying moment that taught her it's impossible to please everyone.

We need to check our hearts. Not all pleasing is bad, but when it becomes a pattern, it’s time to reevaluate. Saying no might upset some people, but saying yes to everything invites chaos. Imagine agreeing to make 55 Rice Krispies treats last minute. It leads to a frantic, unmanageable night, ending in tears and feeling like a failure. This is why we must resolve to make decisions based on what's realistic, not on trying to impress others.

Sometimes, we say yes because we need something from others. We attach strings to our yes, expecting something in return. This leads to disappointment. Relationships should involve mutual giving, not manipulative gain. We must make decisions without emotional consequences and without presuming a yes will make us feel more accepted.

We also need to trust God more than human solutions. If we always say yes, we might be hindering others from trusting God. God is looking for hearts fully committed to Him, not just yes-men. It’s crucial to differentiate between saying yes to everyone and saying yes to God.

In the end, a healthy relationship involves service, but we should have the freedom to say yes or no responsibly. It’s essential to understand that some people will never be pleased, and that’s okay. By making peace with this, we free ourselves from the suffocating need to please everyone.

Let's aim to be present in our lives, paying attention to what's right in front of us. This presence can lead to our Best Yes decisions. Whether it’s a small act of kindness or a significant life choice, being fully present helps us see what truly matters. So, let’s be the ones who dare to look, extend love, and give our Best Yes.

Is People-Pleasing Suffocating Your True Self?

Each morning, Lysa's husband asks for her help in choosing a tie. It’s a simple, cherished routine where he returns, needing her to fold his collar over his tie. It’s a small moment, but one filled with love, subtly strengthening their bond day by day. For Lysa, it’s not about having a perfect marriage but about choosing to appreciate these small acts of love.

Lysa believes that relationships, whether with family or friends, thrive on these unrushed moments. She emphasizes the importance of prioritizing connection over tasks. Lysa once thought that having more time would mean less stress, but instead, she filled that time with more tasks. She points out that research shows multitasking can lower IQ, likening it to “junk food for the brain.” On the other hand, relationships are “soul food,” crucial for our well-being.

Lysa reflects on the biblical story of Moses' father-in-law, Jethro, who advised Moses to delegate responsibilities to prevent burnout. Moses listened, demonstrating the power of trusting relationships. This story serves as a reminder for Lysa about the importance of protecting and prioritizing relationships, even if it means asking for help or adjusting her workload.

An argument with her husband reminded Lysa of the delicate nature of marriage. When they rushed to resolve their issues, it felt to her like repairing a snag in a favorite sweater. She recognizes that relationships require careful, intentional effort to prevent unraveling.

Lysa stresses the need to make space in life for unrushed “yes” moments. She recalls her daughter’s to-do list, which included heartfelt reminders to express love to family members. Inspired by this, Lysa encourages prioritizing relationships by leaving space in our schedules for connection, laughter, and simply being together.

Lysa also acknowledges how insecurity can make people feel like they’re drowning, cutting them off from the truth. She notes that a fixed mindset traps individuals in their limitations, while a growth mindset helps them see potential for improvement. Lysa believes that tying one’s identity to God’s truth, rather than insecurities, can foster growth and flourishing.

She recalls a time when her marriage faced a challenge after her husband’s comment about her weight triggered deep insecurities. However, Lysa chose to see it as a growth opportunity, which allowed them to strengthen their relationship. By embracing a growth mindset, she believes people can let their identity in God guide them through insecurities and into a place of potential.

Ultimately, Lysa concludes that identity, not insecurity, should lead every decision. By holding onto truth and prioritizing relationships, she believes people can create space for the unrushed “yes,” enriching their lives and the lives of those around them.

Nurturing Bonds: From Moses' Wisdom to Everyday Love

For seventeen years, Lysa's daughter has known her safe haven: Lysa's arms. In times of joy or heartbreak, especially when a boy let her down, she finds solace there. We've all felt that deep connection, whether with family or friends. When life's challenges cloud our judgment, it’s crucial not to make decisions alone. Whether it’s a teenage heartbreak or something more significant, having someone to lean on can provide clarity.

In life, we often face unexpected challenges that test our strength and wisdom. As Lysa stood at a vending machine, frustrated over a Diet Coke, she realized her anger stemmed from deeper issues—disappointments and unmet expectations. But what if these challenges highlight our strengths rather than our weaknesses? Like Mary, the mother of Jesus, who endured much but remained strong, we too can find resilience in tough times.

When faced with life's trials, wisdom often emerges from humility and even humiliation. King David's story reminds us that from our deepest lows can come great wisdom and strength. We must persevere, seeking wisdom from those who have walked similar paths. Whether through prayer or seeking guidance, we must rise above our feelings and make decisions rooted in wisdom.

Every choice we make shapes us. We have the power to become better versions of ourselves by mixing all our experiences together, much like ingredients in a cake. By seeking wisdom and making thoughtful decisions, we can live a life that aligns with God's plan, becoming a reflection of His love and truth.

In essence, life's challenges and our responses to them define us. We must strive for wisdom, make choices that align with our values, and find strength in our connections with others. By doing so, we live a life of purpose, love, and wisdom. Let's embrace the journey and live our Best Yes life.

Can Life's Vending Machine Moments Unlock Your Inner Self?

In life, making decisions can often feel overwhelming, and this is mirrored in the small, everyday choices we face, such as ordering at a drive-thru. This reflects a broader struggle with indecision and the fear of missing out on the best option. It's a lesson in understanding the significance of aligning our choices with a deeper sense of purpose and wisdom.

This concept of the "Best Yes" involves tuning into what God wants for us and making decisions that resonate with enduring wisdom. It’s about listening to the quiet nudges and whispers of divine guidance in our lives, even amidst the chaos and pressure of daily responsibilities.

The journey to making better decisions includes learning from past mistakes and recognizing the importance of seeking wisdom before taking action. This involves showing up consistently, practicing diligence, and managing expectations realistically. It's about being intentional with our time and commitments, ensuring they reflect our true priorities and values.

Saying no can be as powerful as saying yes. It helps maintain balance and prevents overextension. This involves setting healthy boundaries and making decisions that honor our limits and capacities. Trusting in God's guidance allows us to make these choices without fear, knowing that even our mistakes can be used for good.

People-pleasing can be a significant hindrance, leading to exhaustion and dissatisfaction. Instead, we should aim to make decisions based on what truly matters, rather than trying to impress others. It's about being present in our relationships and valuing connection over tasks, thereby creating moments of genuine love and support.

Ultimately, the pursuit of wisdom and making the right choices involves embracing a growth mindset, letting go of insecurities, and holding onto our identity in God. This approach transforms our decision-making process, enabling us to live a life of joy, peace, and fulfillment.

Home

Trending Books

News & Mags

Relax

Curated

Collections

Key Ideas & Notes

Insights

Highlights & Bookmarks

Listening History

Improve your Career, Health & Life with 15min insights from 9000+ non-fiction books

Key Ideas

#1