Ever wondered how to juggle the challenges of a blended family, motherhood, and a thriving career? Are you curious about the transformative power of facing your fears and how it can lead to personal growth and exciting opportunities? Interested in learning from someone who has navigated the world of entrepreneurship, the fashion industry, and public speaking, all while maintaining authenticity? Let's dive into this captivating journey!

If In Doubt, Wash Your Hair: A Manual for Life

In early 2019, Anya Hindmarch, the author, faced a tough time at work after stepping down as CEO of her company. During a meeting, someone contradicted what was agreed, and Anya calmly called it out. The response she got was, "Anya, you have to take the emotion out of this." This moment was pivotal for her. 

Women are often accused of being emotional, but Anya believes emotion is a female superpower. Emotion fuels a growing business and helps make difficult decisions with empathy and respect.

One of the hardest parts of leading a business for Anya is making people redundant, but she believes it can be done kindly and respectfully. Communication and understanding are crucial for her. In business, she thinks behavior defines your brand more than any tagline. Kindness, respect, and inclusivity are values Anya holds dear, and she strives to embody them in her company.

Balancing work and motherhood is a challenging task for Anya. She has had to navigate moments when she felt she wasn't coping. Honest communication with her children about her work struggles and victories helps them understand and support her. Accepting that she can't do everything and focusing on what she's good at has been essential for her.

Finding the right childcare and having a supportive partner are crucial for Anya. She and her husband have created new family traditions, like the "Christmas Contract," to manage expectations and reduce stress. 

As a working mother, Anya has learned to trust the system and her children's ability to be self-sufficient. The toughest part for her is the exhaustion. The "tunnel" of early parenthood is hard, but with support and open communication, she got through it.

Can Emotion Be a Female Superpower in Business Leadership?

Anya's mother-in-law once gave her a piece of advice that stuck: "If you are happy, your children will be happy." This doesn’t mean ignoring your children’s needs, but it highlights the importance of her own well-being in parenting. 

Sacrificing her happiness for her children’s sake isn’t beneficial for anyone. Sister Angela, a nun from her school, also shared wisdom: "If you accept that you will never be fully satisfied, then you will be very happy indeed." These lessons taught Anya to be realistic and not strive for perfection in family life.

Anya's journey into a blended family began when she met James, a widower with three young children. When they married, Anya became a stepmother to Hugo, Tia, and Bert, and later had two more children, Felix and Otto. Step-parenting was challenging, but love and determination helped them create a cohesive family. They navigated through grief and insecurities, always striving to make the children feel secure and loved.

Parenting, in general, is tough at every stage, from sleepless nights with babies to navigating teenage angst. Creating special memories, like birthday parties or simple family meals, can strengthen family bonds. When it came to childcare, Anya sought a robust system that included loving caregivers, ensuring stability for her children while she worked.

Maintaining a healthy marriage amidst parenting is crucial. James and Anya have had their differences, but they work through them with honesty, humor, and compromise. They’ve learned to appreciate their strengths and navigate their weaknesses. Setting the right tone in the household, being realistic about expectations, and communicating effectively are essential.

Ultimately, the greatest gift you can give your children is confidence and love. By making them feel valued and cherished, you equip them to face the world with self-assurance and resilience. It’s not about perfection but about creating a supportive, loving environment where everyone can thrive.

Parenting Wisdom from Sister Angela and the Journey of a Blended Family

Anya always insists her kids text her when they land safely from flights, a habit borrowed from her parents. It reminds her of the classic flight instruction: "Put your own oxygen mask on first." 

Initially, Anya thought she'd save her kids first, but she's learned self-care is vital to help others effectively. Stress was her biggest hurdle to self-care, as she discovered when an acupuncturist bluntly told her, "Don't complain, you chose this life." It stung, but he was right—Anya loves her family, job, and the chaos. 

Stress is subjective; Anya's grandmother would stress over small things, while Anya juggled Fashion Week and board meetings. Yet, stress is real for each person. Sharing feelings with loved ones can help, as can small breaks. Her toughest times were with little kids, work crises, and her son's illness. Coping strategies include addressing physical health—breathing, exercise, food, and sleep.

Exercise was a late discovery for Anya, but walking with a friend transformed her routine. They multitask by talking through life's worries during their walks. Simple activities like walking can improve mood and well-being significantly.

Food is more complicated; stress drives Anya to sugar, her Achilles heel. Understanding this helps her be kinder to herself. Finding healthier alternatives is a work in progress. Sleep is another priority. Lack of sleep affects Anya's mood and productivity, so she protects her sleep fiercely. 

Organization is Anya's ally against stress. Planning ahead and scheduling breaks—stepping stones—helps her manage the chaos. These breaks could be a gym session, coffee with friends, or a weekend without plans, providing much-needed respite.

Helping others also recharges Anya. Acts of kindness, big or small, are deeply satisfying. These strategies are her sunscreen against burnout. They allow her to thrive in the life she chose and loves.

Can Self-Care Lessons from Fashion Week Transform Your Stress Management?

Anya never really thrived in school, but she had a deep passion for music. At thirteen, she entered a school music competition, feeling both nervous and excited. With a packed hall, including her parents and friends, Anya walked onto the stage, only to freeze and forget her part. It was mortifying, and she never sang in public again. This fear of public performance lingered, affecting her confidence and causing her to hyperventilate during important meetings and presentations.

Years later, Anya faced an audience of a thousand people for a public project. Despite her fear, a friend recommended an NLP practitioner named William Scott-Masson. In a single session, William helped Anya reframe her traumatic experience and revealed a powerful truth: fear and excitement are the same emotion. This realization flipped a switch in her brain, transforming her fear into excitement. He also taught her to turn down the volume of her inner critic, which had been holding her back.

Determined to overcome her fear, Anya accepted an invitation to speak at the Kit Cat Club, a group of high-achieving women. Terrified, she took a beta blocker, and with her sister's support, she managed to deliver a successful talk. This experience was transformative, helping Anya realize that the things we fear most can also be the things we are best at.

Public speaking became a skill Anya actively pursued, leading to exciting opportunities like launching London Fashion Week shows and accepting roles such as a Business Ambassador for the UK. She learned that fear is not something to avoid but to embrace. It fuels excitement and drives us to achieve our best work.

Through NLP, visualization, and the support of mentors, Anya conquered her fear of public speaking. She now seeks out challenges that scare her, knowing they are where she does her best work. Fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin, and pushing through fear can lead to incredible opportunities and personal growth.

How William Scott-Masson Helped Anya Transform Fear into Power

Anya started her business at 18, inspired by her entrepreneurial family during Thatcher's Britain. Her venture began with a trip to Italy, where she found a trendy bag, convinced a factory to produce samples, and sold them through Harpers & Queen. This early success led her to skip further education and dive into the business world.

Her journey has been filled with ups and downs, from making her first proper hire, Annabel, to opening her first store in Knightsbridge with Lisa, who stayed with her for 25 years. Expanding internationally began with a franchise in Hong Kong, which taught Anya the value of adapting to local markets.

Throughout, she learned the importance of focusing on her strengths—designing, selling, and marketing—rather than trying to do everything herself. Building a team has been crucial, and Anya has been fortunate to work with fantastic people who took a chance on her.

Her business has grown to include numerous stores worldwide, but she has also faced challenges like managing cash flow and adapting to crises like the 2008 financial crash and the Covid-19 pandemic. These experiences taught Anya resilience and flexibility.

Successful entrepreneurship, according to Anya, requires passion, determination, and the ability to persuade and connect with people. Emotional intelligence is key, as is the willingness to learn from failures and adapt. Building a supportive, diverse team is essential, as is maintaining clear, honest communication.

For Anya, entrepreneurship is not just about profit; it's about creating a community and making a difference. Despite the struggles, the journey has been incredibly rewarding. If anyone is considering starting their own business, her advice is to go for it, embrace the challenges, and enjoy the ride.

Could You Thrive as an Entrepreneur in the Style of Thatcher's Britain?

When Anya was sixteen, a former student visited her school to share her journey in the fashion industry. Inspired, Anya sketched a shop with her name on it, full of handbags. Two years later, she found herself in Florence, learning about leather craftsmanship and eyeing the trendy Italian bags. 

Fast forward seven years, Anya opened her first store on Walton Street, filled with handbags bearing her name. That sketch was her first act of creative visualization.

Anya has always admired craftspeople, including her mother-in-law with her endless embroidery projects. Their artistry and technical dedication are the backbone of her business. Despite lacking formal training in art or design, Anya has learned everything on the job. For her, creativity isn't just about drawing; it's about ideas and problem-solving.

In business, she believes creativity is crucial, even in seemingly mundane fields like insurance. It's about designing products, marketing them, and engaging teams in innovative ways. In her business, new handbag designs must have a purpose or tell a story. Their most successful projects are driven by passion, not just the aim of success.

One of Anya's biggest passion projects was the "I’m Not A Plastic Bag" initiative in 2007, inspired by the book "Change the World for a Fiver." They created a canvas tote to reduce plastic bag usage, selling it for £5. The project was a massive success, with thousands queuing for the bag. However, it wasn't without its flaws; they faced criticism for using non-sustainable cotton. Despite this, the project significantly reduced plastic bag consumption.

In 2020, they launched the "I Am A Plastic Bag" project, using recycled PET bottles to create luxurious canvas-like bags, coated with recycled windscreen material. This project aimed to keep plastic in circulation and out of landfills. It was challenging but rewarding, highlighting the importance of innovation in sustainability.

For Anya, creativity isn't just about pretty pictures; it's about solving problems. For example, their "Chubby Hearts Over London" project involved floating giant heart balloons over iconic buildings. It was logistically complex but ultimately magical.

Ideas come from feeding her brain with new experiences and letting her mind wander. Anya logs her ideas systematically, using Pinterest boards or shared albums. The creative process involves toggling between vision and execution, solving problems along the way.

The creative journey often goes through phases of excitement, doubt, and perseverance. For instance, their Chubby Hearts project started with the idea of helium-filled hearts but evolved through many iterations before reaching its final form. Sticking with the problem and adapting is key.

Anya believes creative visualization helps her stay focused and communicate her vision to others. For a handbag collection based on rope, she imagined a showroom with someone demonstrating knot-making. This vision guided the project through its development.

For Anya, creativity is a thrill. It's about having a vision and seeing it through, feeding her soul in the process.

From Sketch to Success: The Creative Journey of Anya Hindmarch

Anya has a passion for organization - from email inboxes to sock drawers. It’s not just about neatness; it’s a coping mechanism, especially when juggling a business and a family. Her brother once gifted her a Dymo labelling machine, and she’s been hooked on labelling everything, even joking about labelling her children.

Organization is crucial for creativity and managing daily life. Today’s digital overwhelm, unlike the simpler days of post and phone calls, demands efficient systems. Anya's son, a trainee lawyer, received inbox management training, which intrigued her enough to bring similar workshops to their Sloane Street store. They learned about David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” method - capturing all tasks in a comprehensive to-do list, categorized by context. This method frees the brain for creativity, echoing Allen’s belief that the brain is for having ideas, not holding them.

Decluttering is another challenge. Their workshops, led by Gill Hasson, addressed the emotional connections to clutter - fear, hope, nostalgia, and guilt. Strategies included letting go of items by understanding their future use or sentimental value and finding joy in passing things on to others.

Wardrobe organization is also key. Anya periodically pulls out all her clothes, deciding what to keep based on current use, and photographs complete outfits for quick reference. This reduces morning stress and packing dilemmas for trips.

Their Labelled collection of bags, born from Anya's packing struggles, helps organize essentials, ensuring nothing crucial is forgotten. This system saves money and highlights unused items, making wardrobe clear-outs beneficial.

Planning extends to family life. Weekly meetings, shared diaries, and thinking ahead prevent last-minute crises. Organization might take effort, but it’s less exhausting than scrambling to catch up. Finding balance is personal, but for Anya, being prepared is worth the upfront effort.

Is David Allen's Getting Things Done the Secret to Mastering Modern Life's Chaos?

Anya remembers stumbling upon the quote, "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken," often attributed to Oscar Wilde. It made her realize how long it took to truly know and accept herself. She observed that all people present different versions of themselves depending on the situation, which is normal and quite clever.

Anya has discovered that her true self is not about being the most entertaining or the toughest. It’s about being comfortable in her own skin, like slipping into a favorite pair of trainers. This realization brought clarity in understanding what genuinely makes her happy and what doesn't, knowing her core values, and focusing on what she's good at while accepting and working on her weaknesses.

For instance, she’s come to terms with not being the thinnest or most extroverted person in the room. She’s a bit serious, enjoys sad movies, and loves spending quiet evenings with close friends and family. Anya has a big nose, which she’s grown to like because it reminds her of her father. She’s organized to a fault but has a creative brain. She thrives on making tough decisions but deeply cares about being kind and fair.

Living authentically also means not letting unrealistic ideals, often perpetuated by others, dictate her self-worth. Anya remembers an agent comparing models to colts and regular people to carthorses, which can be detrimental. Social media, while often criticized, has also become a platform where diverse, real bodies are celebrated, moving away from the impossible standards set by traditional media.

During the pandemic, Anya found solace in the enforced slowdown. It allowed her to reassess her values and understand what truly matters—family, health, and meaningful connections. She realized that high points in life often go unnoticed until people reflect on them. Now, Anya tries to recognize and appreciate these moments as they happen.

Facing life's challenges, like her son's illness, taught her the importance of perspective. It made her understand that many of her daily stresses were insignificant compared to real crises. This newfound perspective emphasizes the importance of cherishing family, friends, and health.

As she looks ahead, Anya focuses on what truly matters: being healthy, kind, and making meaningful connections. Whether it’s embracing her love for choral music or engaging in big creative projects at work, she aims to live authentically and passionately. Ultimately, being genuinely happy in her own skin is the key to a fulfilling life.

Embracing Authenticity: Life Lessons Inspired by Oscar Wilde

In early 2019, Anya faced a pivotal moment at work when she calmly called out a colleague for going against an agreement, only to be told to "take the emotion out." This experience underscored her belief that emotion is a superpower, especially for women in business. It fuels growth and compassionate decision-making. Leading a company is tough, particularly when making redundancies, but it can be done with kindness and respect.

Balancing work and motherhood is another challenge. Honest communication with her children about her work struggles and victories helps them understand and support her. Accepting her limitations and focusing on her strengths has been key. Anya and her husband have also created family traditions like the "Christmas Contract" to manage expectations and reduce stress.

Parenting in a blended family with James, her widower husband, and his three children was initially challenging. But love and determination have helped them create a cohesive, supportive environment. Parenting at every stage is tough, but creating special memories strengthens family bonds.

Maintaining a healthy marriage amidst parenting is crucial. Anya and James work through their differences with honesty, humor, and compromise. Setting realistic expectations and effective communication are essential.

One of the most important lessons Anya has learned is the significance of self-care. Despite stress and exhaustion, taking care of herself allows her to better support her family. This includes exercise, healthy eating, sleep, and organization. Walking with a friend and deep breathing exercises have been particularly helpful.

Anya's journey in business began at 18, inspired by her entrepreneurial family. From selling trendy bags found in Italy to opening her first store, she has learned the importance of focusing on her strengths and building a supportive team. Successful entrepreneurship requires passion, determination, and the ability to connect with people.

Creativity plays a crucial role in business. Projects like "I’m Not A Plastic Bag" and "I Am A Plastic Bag" highlight the importance of innovative solutions for sustainability. Anya's creative process involves feeding her brain with new experiences and systematically logging ideas.

Organization is another passion of hers. Efficient systems and planning help manage the chaos of business and family life. This includes using methods like David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” and decluttering workshops to address emotional connections to clutter.

Living authentically and embracing her true self has been a journey. Understanding what genuinely makes her happy, focusing on her strengths, and accepting her weaknesses have brought clarity. The pandemic enforced a slowdown that allowed her to reassess her values and cherish what truly matters—family, health, and meaningful connections.

Ultimately, the greatest gift they can give their children is confidence and love. Creating a supportive, loving environment where everyone can thrive is the key to a fulfilling life. Embracing their fears and pushing through challenges can lead to incredible opportunities and personal growth.

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If In Doubt, Wash Your Hair: A Manual for Life

Anya Hindmarch

9 Key ideas

23 MINS

Ever wondered how to juggle the challenges of a blended family, motherhood, and a thriving career?

Are you curious about the transformative power of facing your fears and how it can lead to personal growth and exciting opportunities?

Interested in learning from someone who has navigated the world of entrepreneurship, the fashion industry, and public speaking, all while maintaining authenticity?

Let's dive into this captivating journey!

Key Ideas

#1