Ever wondered how to infuse more joy into your everyday life? Can small acts of kindness truly make a difference? How does one overcome the chronic illusion of time abundance? Read on to discover one woman's journey of embracing 'Bigger' as her theme for the year.

Happier at Home: Kiss More, Jump More, Abandon a Project, Read Samuel Johnson, and My Other Experiments in the Practice of Everyday Life

One late-summer evening, as Gretchen Rubin, the author, unloaded the dishwasher, an unexpected wave of homesickness washed over her. Surrounded by familiar sights and sounds, she yearned for that very moment—her family playing in the next room, her blue stove, and even the broken toaster—already nostalgic for the present. 

Dr. Johnson's words, "To be happy at home is the ultimate result of all ambition," resonated deeply with her. Gretchen realized that home was the center of her life, filled with the people and things she loved most.

Inspired by this revelation, Gretchen decided to embark on another happiness project, this time focused on her home. Her first happiness project had taught her to appreciate her life more by systematically tackling different aspects of it. This new project would explore relationships, possessions, time, body, and neighborhood, all with the aim of making her home feel even more homey.

She started by contemplating the role of possessions in happiness. While some argue that possessions don’t matter, Gretchen believed they did. To her, possessions reflected and shaped identity, and when chosen wisely, they could bring tremendous joy. She resolved to "cultivate a shrine," creating areas in her home that celebrated her passions. For instance, she crafted a shrine to her family with photographs and keepsakes and another to her work in her office.

Next, Gretchen tackled clutter. Inspired by William Morris’s advice to have nothing in one's house that isn’t useful or beautiful, she went shelf by shelf, drawer by drawer, deciding what to keep and what to discard. To her surprise, the exercise was profoundly liberating. Clearing clutter made her home feel more serene and manageable.

She also made a point to "read the manual," ensuring she understood how to use the devices and tools in her home. This small but meaningful step reduced frustrations and boosted her sense of competence.

Through these efforts, Gretchen discovered that happiness wasn’t about having more or less but about wanting what she already had. By engaging meaningfully with her possessions and creating spaces that reflected her true self, she transformed her home into a sanctuary of comfort, vitality, and joy.

Could Dr. Johnson's Wisdom Help You Find Ultimate Happiness at Home?

In October, author Gretchen Rubin focused on her marriage, inspired by the belief that a strong relationship is a key source of happiness. Meeting her husband Jamie in law school had been a pivotal moment in her life, and their relationship remained a cornerstone of her overall well-being. Determined to create a tender, romantic, and supportive atmosphere in their marriage, Gretchen resolved to make intentional efforts toward strengthening their bond.

One of the ways she pursued this goal was by establishing a ritual she called "Kiss in the morning, kiss at night." Drawing on research that suggests physical affection strengthens bonds, she made it a point to kiss Jamie before leaving bed, before he left for work, and when he returned home. This simple act served as a daily reminder for both of them to pay attention to each other, fostering feelings of love and connection.

Gretchen also committed to "Giving gold stars," recognizing that Jamie depended on her for positive affirmation. She made a deliberate effort to praise his achievements, thank him for completing chores, and express her love more frequently. She understood that small acts of appreciation could have a significant impact on their relationship and sought to use this insight to nurture their connection.

Another technique Gretchen employed was what she referred to as "Making the positive argument." Whenever she caught herself focusing on negative thoughts about Jamie, she intentionally reframed her thinking by recalling positive examples instead. This shift in perspective not only improved her mood but also led to more harmonious interactions between them.

In addition to her efforts within her marriage, Gretchen also confronted a longstanding personal challenge—her fear of driving. Inspired by a friend's story, she decided to take driving lessons. This fear had been a burden for years, but facing it head-on gave her a sense of accomplishment and increased her feelings of capability and independence.

By the end of October, Gretchen felt more mindful and intentional in her relationship. She recognized that while her efforts weren’t always perfect, the process of striving to make small, meaningful changes had been worthwhile. Ultimately, the experience reminded her that love is not just about feelings but also about demonstrating care and commitment through actions.

Building a Happier Marriage: Inspired by Love, Rituals, and Positive Affirmations

Theodore Roosevelt once remarked, 'It is impossible to win the great prizes of life without running risks, and the greatest of all prizes are those connected with the home.' This sentiment deeply resonated with the author, Gretchen Rubin, as she embarked on a personal journey to foster a loving and happy environment for her children, Eliza and Eleanor.

Gretchen came to realize that while she couldn't directly ensure her daughters' happiness, her actions could certainly influence it. Eliza, at eleven, was a cheerful and creative spirit with a love for reading, music, and making videos. Eleanor, at five, was vivacious, curious, and on the cusp of learning to read. Observing their interactions, Gretchen often marveled at the fact that these two remarkable girls were her daughters.

Reflecting on her own childhood, Gretchen recalled her parents' rule against unkind teasing, which had helped create a joyful household. Inspired by this memory, she decided to adopt four resolutions aimed at cultivating a loving home: underreact to problems, engage in the interests of others, embark on Wednesday adventures, and give warm greetings and farewells.

The practice of "underreacting to problems" helped Gretchen maintain calm and composure, even in challenging moments, such as getting lost in the Bronx while driving with Eliza. By staying serene, she found that problems seemed less overwhelming and more manageable.

Entering into the interests of others, particularly her daughters, became a meaningful way for Gretchen to express love and respect. She embraced Eliza's enthusiasm for advertising and Eleanor's passion for drawing, even when these interests weren't naturally hers. This intentional effort to connect deepened their relationships and brought them closer as a family.

To ensure individualized attention for each child, Gretchen initiated "Wednesday adventures" with Eliza. Together, they explored New York City, visiting places like Madame Tussauds and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. These outings became treasured experiences, strengthening their bond and creating lasting memories.

Lastly, Gretchen proposed a family resolution to give warm greetings and farewells. This simple practice of acknowledging each other fostered a sense of connection and value, bringing warmth and affection into their daily lives. It served as a gentle reminder to cherish each moment together.

Through these resolutions, Gretchen discovered that creating a happy home wasn't about grand gestures but about small, consistent acts of love and care. By striving to be a lighthearted and loving mother, she aimed to build a household filled with comfort, warmth, and tenderness. As Gretchen reflected, the days are long, but the years are short, and now is the time to treasure these fleeting moments with her children.

Can Roosevelt's Wisdom on Home Life Transform Your Happiness?

Christmas carols played, twinkle lights flickered, and menorahs glowed—it was holiday time. Gretchen sat in her snug apartment, feeling content as icy rain beat against the window. December beckoned her to focus on her inner design. Inspired by Simon Patrick's words, "If better were within, better would come out," she aimed to renovate herself from within, seeking "built-in happiness," much like Bob Dylan's wife.

Gretchen realized that she couldn't rely solely on others for her happiness. Research showed that people who depended on others for their happiness were often more prone to depression. She wanted to be self-sufficient, understanding that her happiness could positively affect her family, though she couldn't make them happy. This realization led to what became her Seventh Splendid Truth: Happy people make people happy, but you can't make someone be happy, and no one else can make you happy.

She also reflected on the impact of "emotional contagion," the phenomenon where emotions are caught from others. This dynamic was especially evident in her marriage—Jamie's chronic hepatitis C treatment affected both of their moods. While her family's happiness mattered deeply to her, Gretchen recognized that each person had to find their own happiness.

For December, Gretchen resolved to bolster her "built-in happiness." She set out to resist happiness leeches, dig deep, respond to the spirit of gifts, and abandon self-control. Happiness leeches—grouches, jerks, and slackers—could sap her joy. To protect herself, she resolved to avoid them when possible and handle them sensibly when avoidance wasn’t an option.

Digging deep meant consciously maintaining patience and good humor, particularly with her children. Even when setbacks arose—like when Eleanor threw tantrums—Gretchen reminded herself to dig deep to stay calm and loving.

Responding to the spirit of a gift was another area of focus. When Jamie gave her a bracelet instead of the ring she had hoped for, she chose to appreciate his effort and thoughtfulness rather than focusing on the specific gift. This mindset allowed her to embrace the joy intended by the giver.

Abandoning self-control, paradoxically, involved creating external conditions to support her goals. For instance, Gretchen decided to abstain entirely from sweets during the holidays, finding complete abstinence easier than trying to moderate her intake. Convenience also played a role—she stored holiday treats out of sight to reduce temptation.

Traveling to Kansas City for Christmas, Gretchen enjoyed family traditions while managing holiday indulgences. By focusing on abstinence and strategic convenience, she was able to maintain self-mastery without depleting her reserves of self-control.

A chance encounter with a grouchy acquaintance reminded Gretchen of the Tigger vs. Eeyore dynamic. She observed how Tiggers and Eeyores often polarized one another, with Tiggers becoming more cheerful and Eeyores more negative in response. Acknowledging each other's perspectives without trying to change them, she realized, could ease this tension.

Ultimately, Gretchen embraced her December resolutions, aiming to create a happier, more harmonious home. By working on her inner self, she hoped to radiate positivity and contribute to the happiness of those around her.

Find Built-In Happiness with Simon Patrick's Wisdom

In January, inspired by a burst of New Year’s resolution-keeping zeal, author Gretchen Rubin decided to choose a one-word theme for the year: “Bigger.” This word served as a personal challenge to think big, tolerate complications and failure, and expect more from herself. Gretchen aimed to embrace a bigger life while cultivating an atmosphere of unhurriedness at home.

Gretchen believed that the feeling of control over time was crucial for happiness. Reflecting on her past experiences, she realized how much she had cherished the unhurried days in Kansas City, where she could set her own pace and complete tasks without the pressure of rushing. With this in mind, she set out in January to recreate that unhurried feeling, ensuring that her time reflected her values and priorities.

She also confronted the persistent delusion that time would magically become abundant in the future. Recognizing the reality, Gretchen knew that if she wanted to feel unhurried, she had to create that feeling in the present. To manage her time more effectively, she resolved to implement several strategies:

1. Control the cubicle in her pocket: Gretchen established rules to minimize distractions from technology, such as putting away her devices while spending time with family and avoiding email at bedtime.  

2. Guard her children’s free time: She made a conscious decision not to overschedule her daughters with activities. For example, although she was tempted to insist on piano lessons, she valued their free time for exploration and self-directed choices.  

3. Suffer for fifteen minutes: Each day, she dedicated fifteen minutes to tackling long-postponed tasks, such as organizing family photos and videos. This small but consistent effort helped her accomplish more without feeling overwhelmed.  

4. Go on monthly adventures with her husband, Jamie: While Jamie and Gretchen often struggled to find time for fun amid their busy schedules, she proposed monthly adventures to add novelty and challenge to their lives. However, balancing their commitments often made this goal difficult to achieve.

Despite her efforts, Gretchen occasionally felt disheartened by her limitations and failures. Yet, she reminded herself that her principles were sound and that practice would lead to improvement over time. Ultimately, her focus on managing time and embracing a bigger life brought her closer to her happiness goals, even if the process wasn’t always easy. And sometimes, life surprised her—in a delightful twist, her daughter Eliza expressed an interest in learning to play the guitar on her own.

Can You Transform Your Life by Embracing One Word?

Imagine walking into a home and being enveloped by the familiar scents and chaos that make it uniquely personal. For Gretchen Rubin, home is both a physical and mental experience, a realization she came to during a month-long focus on her body’s connection to happiness.

Gretchen sought concrete resolutions rather than vague suggestions like "be optimistic." She discovered that engaging with her physical senses, such as embracing pleasant smells, could enhance her happiness. This insight was inspired by her daughter Eleanor, who has a keen appreciation for scents. Eleanor’s delight in fragrances sparked Gretchen’s curiosity, leading her to explore how smells can trigger emotions and memories.

One day, Gretchen ordered a variety of unique scents from Demeter Fragrance to create what she called a "Shrine to Scent" at home. Together with her daughters, she played a guessing game with the different fragrances, turning the experience into a joyful family activity. This taught Gretchen to pay closer attention to the natural scents surrounding her daily and to embrace them as sources of happiness.

Gretchen also learned the importance of responding to "bids" for attention in relationships. By becoming more mindful of these bids, she improved her interactions with her family, which, in turn, enhanced her overall happiness. For instance, she asked her daughters to knock before entering her office, a small change that allowed her to respond more kindly and thoughtfully.

Inspired by a friend, Gretchen introduced a new tradition of "holiday breakfasts" in her household. She began setting up festive tables to celebrate minor holidays, creating joyous moments and lasting memories with her family.

Additionally, Gretchen incorporated more physical energy into her life by jumping—a simple yet playful act that brought a smile to her face and added a burst of energy to her day. She also experimented with acupuncture in her pursuit of wellness, though it left her unconvinced.

Throughout her journey, Gretchen challenged the notion that happiness is merely a by-product of other pursuits. She came to believe that happiness can be both a goal and a by-product. By actively pursuing happiness through engaging activities and intentional choices, Gretchen demonstrated that it’s possible to create a more joyful and fulfilling life.

Unlocking Happiness: How Gretchen Rubin's Family Rituals Transformed Her Life

March marked a month of family realization and appreciation for the author, Gretchen. It began with her daughter Eleanor’s "Hundred Day" celebration at kindergarten, where Gretchen and her husband Jamie marveled at Eleanor’s colorful collection of beads. This simple yet poignant moment prompted Gretchen to reflect on the treasure that is her family—something she likened to owning a patch of land with hidden wealth, a sentiment famously expressed by Eugène Delacroix.

For Gretchen, her family serves as her anchor. Her parents in Kansas City and her in-laws in New York offer her wisdom and joy through the simplest of gestures, whether it's spotting her father-in-law at the gym or sharing whimsical, holiday-themed breakfasts with Eleanor and her younger daughter, Eliza. These fleeting moments fill Gretchen with gratitude, and she strives to fully embrace and cherish them.

Through her research, Gretchen discovered that sibling relationships are just as significant as those with parents and spouses. Despite her sister Elizabeth living far away in Los Angeles, their bond remains strong. Recently, the two embarked on a creative project inspired by the Eleusinian Mysteries, a captivating secret rite from ancient Greece. This collaboration not only fulfilled a long-held desire but also deepened their connection amidst their busy schedules.

One of Gretchen’s personal resolutions this year was to have a difficult but necessary conversation with her parents about health directives. Though the task was daunting, it ultimately brought her a sense of peace and clarity. Similarly, she found joy in planning small surprises for her family, such as surprise cupcakes or celebrating Eleanor’s excitement over her first loose tooth. These gestures, though simple, reaffirmed her connection to her loved ones.

Family vacations with her in-laws have become a source of happiness, not dread, for Gretchen. On these trips, she experimented with research-backed strategies, such as blending chores with leisure to maximize relaxation. This approach proved effective during a recent beach trip, where even reading work-related articles seemed to enhance the joy of the experience.

Over time, Gretchen has come to understand that happiness isn’t about avoiding negative emotions but acknowledging their purpose. These emotions often serve as signals, pointing toward areas in life that need attention—just as her career shift from law to writing was inspired by moments of envy toward others' creative pursuits.

In her efforts to cultivate family harmony, Gretchen resonates with Adam Smith’s vision of mutual love and esteem, striving to create an atmosphere of peace and contentment within her home. Each action—whether planning thoughtful surprises or tackling uncomfortable but meaningful conversations—contributes to her family's happiness and reminds her of life’s true riches.

Can Family Moments Be Your Hidden Wealth?

April, with its warmer weather, inspired author Gretchen to explore her neighborhood and deepen her appreciation for her sense of home. She decided to "Be a tourist without leaving home" and found joy in rediscovering New York City. 

Inspired by Gertrude Stein's words, Gretchen aimed to see her city with fresh eyes, recalling memories tied to familiar places, noticing the scents in the air, and delving into its rich history. She even began reading New York City guidebooks and visited places like the Asia Society, which, despite being nearby, she had never explored in all her years of living in the city.

Gretchen also resolved to "Practice nonrandom acts of kindness," focusing on making her presence a source of happiness for others. Simple yet meaningful acts, such as picking up litter or greeting familiar strangers, became part of her daily routine. She sought to bring people together and assist others professionally—such as recommending colleagues for job opportunities—fostering a sense of community and connection.

Inspired by Mother Teresa's philosophy to "Find your own Calcutta," Gretchen reflected on her personal causes and became involved with the New York Organ Donor Network. This commitment was deeply personal, driven by Jamie's hepatitis C diagnosis. Her involvement sparked Jamie's interest as well, leading to collaborative efforts with her in-laws and creating a shared sense of purpose and meaning.

In addition, Gretchen pursued a newfound passion for miniatures, inspired by Charles Simonds's "Dwellings." This creative exploration led her to craft a secret space in their apartment—a miniature mountaintop hidden in a kitchen cabinet. For Gretchen, this project symbolized a mystical yearning for hidden beauty and personal fulfillment.

These resolutions brought Gretchen unexpected joy, deepened her appreciation for her surroundings, and reinforced her belief that true happiness stems from embracing genuine interests, fostering meaningful connections, and finding beauty in the everyday.

Rediscovering NYC: Inspired by Gertrude Stein

As the school year draws to a close, Gretchen Rubin finds herself swept up in the whirlwind of end-of-year activities. Her calendar is bursting with events: Kindergarten farewell parties, sixth-grade picnics, and looming deadlines for camp health forms. Time seems to have slipped away, leaving her to wonder how the cusp of summer has arrived so quickly. 

She reminisces about those crisp September days when she and her daughters, Eliza and Eleanor, first explored the kindergarten classroom. Now, Eliza is twelve, teetering on the edge of adolescence, while Eleanor is six—still young enough to be enchanted by the magic of a carousel ride. Gretchen’s partner, Jamie, asks why there’s such a rush to visit the carousel. "We must do it now," she insists, realizing how fleeting these childhood moments are.

Gretchen’s happiness project is in its final month, and she strives to adhere to resolutions that bring joy and harmony to her home. Sometimes, the weight of these resolutions feels overwhelming. She craves the simplicity of work over museum visits or the solitude of quiet moments over social courtesies. Yet, she has learned that happiness doesn't always come naturally—it requires effort and intention.

Driving has become a metaphor for Gretchen’s journey. Once a source of mild unease, it is now an exercise in conquering fear. Her friend Elizabeth encourages her to persist, reminding her that progress is gradual. Improvement, though elusive, is worthwhile. Gretchen sees the truth in Benjamin Franklin's words: striving for perfection makes her better and happier, even if she falls short.

As Gretchen reflects on her home, she realizes it is a mirror of her true self. To be truly happy, she must "Be Gretchen," embracing her quirks and preferences without apology. The Fifth Splendid Truth holds that happiness is built on the foundation of one's nature. She can’t force herself to enjoy what others do, nor can she deny what brings her joy.

Laura Wilder's tales of home resonate deeply with Gretchen. The stories capture the essence of cozy simplicity amidst the vastness of life. As she walks home, she reminds herself that "Now is now." This moment, though fleeting, is where life unfolds. She must seize the beauty of ordinary days, for they are the treasure she carries within.

With each step through her front door, Gretchen is reminded of the preciousness of the present. Now is already a long time ago. Here, in the heart of her home, lies her treasure—a life rich with the simple joys of family, love, and the pursuit of happiness.

Are You Ready to Embrace the 'Fifth Splendid Truth'?

Reflecting on the notion that happiness at home is the ultimate goal, it's evident how central our homes are to our overall well-being. The realization that possessions, while often seen as inconsequential, can indeed reflect and shape our identities, is powerful. By curating spaces that celebrate personal passions and clearing away clutter, one can create an environment that feels serene and manageable.

Understanding that happiness is not about the quantity of what we have but appreciating what we already possess is crucial. Engaging meaningfully with our surroundings can transform our homes into sanctuaries of comfort and joy. Strengthening relationships, especially through intentional acts of love and commitment, enriches our lives significantly. Small daily rituals, like physical affection and verbal praise, can foster deeper connections.

Facing fears, like driving, can be liberating and contribute to a sense of independence and capability. This aligns with the idea that taking risks is necessary for life's greatest prizes, particularly those connected to home and family. Encouraging individuality and fostering meaningful interactions within the family can create a joyful and loving atmosphere. It's about embracing small, consistent acts of love and care rather than grand gestures.

Self-sufficiency in happiness is vital; happiness cannot be solely reliant on others. Recognizing that emotions can be contagious highlights the importance of maintaining a positive inner self. Protecting personal joy from external negativity and embracing patience and good humor can bolster inner happiness.

Time management is another key factor in nurturing happiness. Creating an unhurried environment at home, valuing free time, and setting realistic expectations can lead to a more fulfilling life. By focusing on engaging activities and intentional choices, happiness becomes both a goal and a by-product.

Appreciating one's surroundings and engaging with the community can enhance feelings of belonging and contentment. Acts of kindness can strengthen community ties, and pursuing personal interests can bring unexpected joy.

Ultimately, happiness requires effort and intention. Embracing personal quirks and preferences, acknowledging the beauty of ordinary days, and cherishing fleeting moments with family are essential in cultivating a life rich with simple joys. Happiness is deeply intertwined with the treasure of the present moment.

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