Want to uncover the secret to fostering resilience and grit in children? Do you wonder how influential figures like NFL player Steve Young and comedian Francesca Martinez developed their enduring spirit? Curious about the role of loving support, high expectations, and extracurricular activities in cultivating grit? Ready to understand the concept of 'wise parenting' and its impact on a child's development? Dive in to explore the power of grit and how to harness it.

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

The admission process for United West Point, a highly sought-after educational institution, is rigorous. Every year, over 14,000 applicants start the process, but only 1,200 are admitted. Despite the high dropout rate during the first summer's challenging training program, the selection process does not predict who will sustain. What matters most is grit, a combination of passion and perseverance that drives high achievers in every field. 

Take the story of David Luong, initially placed in a regular track math class. He was quiet, didn't stand out, but his hunger to learn was insatiable. Eventually, he was moved to an accelerated program, graduated with honors, and earned a PhD in mechanical engineering. His was a case of defying IQ-based assumptions and emphasizing the significance of hard work and persistence.

But in our society, there's a bias towards 'naturals' over 'strivers', a fixation on talent that often sidelines the importance of effort. Francis Galton, an early psychologist, argued that innate talent or ability was a crucial component of extraordinary success.. However, Charles Darwin, Galton's half cousin, believed that zeal and hard work were more critical to success than intellect.

In the corporate world, the obsession with talent often overshadows the value of hard work. Companies like McKinsey aggressively promote the most talented employees while culling the least talented, creating a competitive, winner-take-all environment. But such strategies can backfire, as seen in the Enron debacle where a focus on intellectual superiority and short-term gains fostered a culture of deception and insecurity. The stories underscore the need to balance talent with effort.

Does Talent Outweigh Hard Work? Debunking Myths about Success!

Talent is often overemphasized in discussions about achievement. We're quick to label impressive individuals as "geniuses", but overlook the hard work, dedication and perseverance that contributes to their success. This is evident in various fields, from sports to politics to art. 

For instance, the study “The Mundanity of Excellence” highlighted that high-level performance is a combination of numerous small skills, each honed and drilled into habit. The key is consistency and correctness, not extraordinary talent. This may seem mundane and uninteresting, but it's the reality behind dazzling achievements. 

Take the example of Warren MacKenzie, a celebrated potter. He honed his craft through consistent practice and effort, producing beautiful, useful pots. His skill improved with effort, and his accomplishment increased with more effort. 

Then there's John Irving, a renowned novelist. Though dyslexic and not a natural writer, he put in the effort to improve, rewriting his novels multiple times. Over time, his effort transformed into skill and achievement, producing best-selling novels.

Similarly, actor and musician Will Smith attributes his success to a "sickening work ethic". He believes that talent is different from skill. While the former is natural, the latter is developed through hours and hours of practice. 

Remember, effort counts twice. It turns talent into skill, and makes skill productive. Talent alone is unmet potential, and skill without effort is wasted potential. It's the consistent effort, the willingness to get back on the 'treadmill' day after day, that truly makes a difference in achievement. 

Effort Counts Twice: The Uncelebrated Key to Achieving Excellence

So, how gritty are you? This question can be answered using a scale that measures two components of grit: passion and perseverance. If you scored high on passion, you probably scored high on perseverance too. 

However, passion and perseverance are not the same thing. Passion is a sustained, enduring devotion while perseverance is the determination to keep pursuing your passion despite setbacks.

Yet, many people struggle with maintaining a consistent passion. They often set a goal but soon abandon it for a different one. They may also work incredibly hard, but lack a long-term focus. This is where the idea of 'grit' comes in. Grit is about working on something you care about so much that you're willing to stay loyal to it. 

Where does grit come from? Both genes and experience play roles. Various studies have shown that all human traits, including grit, are influenced by both factors. Moreover, just like other aspects of your psychological character, grit is more plastic than you might think, it can grow and change over time. 

Four psychological assets are key to growing grit: interest, practice, purpose, and hope. Interest is about finding something that fascinates you, while practice involves the daily discipline of trying to do things better than before. Purpose is connecting your interest and practice to a greater good, and hope is the belief that you can overcome any obstacles. 

Are You Gritty Enough to Achieve Your Long-Term Goals?

Ever heard the advice, "follow your passion?" It's a popular theme in commencement speeches and advice columns. But it's not just about finding something you love; it's about developing that interest into a passion. 

Experts in their fields, whether they're athletes, musicians, authors, or business moguls, often say they love what they do. But it's not always love at first sight. Many successful people spent years exploring different interests before finding the one that they could really fall in love with. 

Take Olympic gold medalist swimmer Rowdy Gaines, who tried football, baseball, basketball, golf, and tennis before settling on swimming. Or award-winning chef Marc Vetri, who was as interested in music as he was in cooking. 

Interest development requires time and energy, and yes, some discipline and sacrifice. But at its earliest stage, it's about exploration and discovery. It's about triggering an interest and then retriggering it again and again. 

The key to growing grit from the inside out is to foster a passion. But how do you go about fostering a passion? It starts with discovery - figuring out what you enjoy doing. It then progresses to development - doing things not because you have to, but because you love doing them. Finally, it deepens into a lifelong interest that you can't imagine living without. 

Unleashing Your Passion: The Journey from Interest to Lifelong Love

Passion is fueled by both interest and purpose - the intention to contribute to others' well-being. This sense of purpose is often inspired by an individual's personal interests and the desire to use these interests to benefit others. 

This progression was first observed by psychologist Benjamin Bloom, who noted that most individuals first develop an attraction to things they enjoy and later appreciate how these personal interests could also be beneficial to others. 

Take the story of Alex Scott, a courageous little girl who, despite battling neuroblastoma, started a lemonade stand at the age of four to raise money for cancer research, raising over a hundred million dollars before she passed away. Her purpose-driven grit is awe-inspiring. 

However, not everyone discovers their purpose early. Some people, like renowned wine critic Antonio Galloni, find their purpose in less obvious ways. Galloni's passion for wine was enhanced by his desire to share his knowledge with others, making their dining experiences more enjoyable. 

The motivation to pursue a purpose often comes from both self and other-oriented motivations. Aurora and Franco Fonte, founders of a successful facilities services company, started their business out of necessity, but they found their purpose in building something meaningful and solving their clients' problems. 

Striving for a purpose isn’t always straightforward. Often, it requires persistence, resilience, and a deep-seated belief that what you're doing is making a difference. Just like the parable of the bricklayers, it's not about the job you're doing, but the purpose you find in it. 

Everyone has a spark - an interest that could lead to a purpose. By reflecting on how your work contributes to society, or by seeking inspiration in a purposeful role model, you can cultivate a sense of purpose. Remember, it's never too early or late to begin this journey. 

Can Your Personal Interests Fuel a Purpose to Transform the World?

There's a famous tattoo with the old Japanese saying: Fall seven, rise eight. It encapsulates the essence of hope. The hope that tomorrow will be better, and we can influence its outcome. This isn't hope that's dependent on luck but on the will to rise again, to try harder, and do better. 

Think of a class you nearly flunked. You must have initially panicked, even considered dropping out. But what if you resolved to do better, to take control. What if you sought extra help, practiced under pressure, aced the final, and ended up majoring in that subject. This experience mirrors a famous psychology experiment by Marty Seligman and Steve Maier, proving that it's not suffering, but suffering you think you can't control, that leads to hopelessness. 

The mindset we carry profoundly influences our response to setbacks. People with a growth mindset believe they can learn and grow, making them grittier and more successful. On the other hand, people with a fixed mindset believe intelligence and talent are static, making them more likely to give up in the face of adversity. 

Growing up, most of us knew how to succeed but not how to fail. It is the experiences of falling and getting up again, of persevering, that teaches us to cultivate hope and resilience. 

So, how can we teach ourselves hope? Update our beliefs about intelligence and talent. Practice optimistic self-talk. Ask for help when needed. Everyone needs a support system, a mentor who encourages them not to give up. After all, it's not just about falling, it's about rising again, stronger and wiser.

Fall Seven, Rise Eight: Cultivating Hope and Resilience Against All Odds

How do we inspire "grit" or resilience in children? The answer, according to research, is a combination of high expectations and loving support from parents and mentors. The key is to demand effort and discipline while providing a nurturing environment that encourages interest, practice, purpose, and hope. 

This is not just about parents - teachers, coaches, and mentors can also play a significant role in fostering grit. Engaging in challenging extracurricular activities can be an effective way for kids to develop passion and perseverance. 

Let's look at two inspiring examples. Steve Young, a legendary NFL player, credits his parents' "tough love" for his success. Despite facing adversity, Steve's father refused to let him quit, pushing him to persevere and work harder. However, his parents were also supportive, providing a stable and loving environment.

Then there's Francesca Martinez, a British comedian who dropped out of school at 16 to pursue her passion. Her parents, rather than pushing her towards traditional academic success, encouraged her to follow her dreams, providing unyielding support and love. 

But what's the balance? How do we encourage children to push their limits without pushing them over the edge? This is where the concept of “wise parenting” comes in. It's about being both demanding and supportive, setting high standards while being respectful of a child's individual needs. 

And what about those who don't have supportive parents? They too can develop grit with the guidance of caring mentors. Cody Coleman, a successful tech entrepreneur, is a testament to this. Despite a challenging upbringing, he blossomed under the guidance of a caring math teacher and an ecosystem of supportive role models.

The power of extracurricular activities in fostering grit cannot be overstated. They offer a platform for kids to experience the satisfaction of struggle, progress, and eventual mastery. They learn that effort and reward are directly linked - a belief that can be transferred to other areas of life. 

Can 'Tough Love' and High Expectations Ignite the Spark of Resilience in Children?

In 2014, Seattle Seahawks coach Pete Carroll was asked what he looked for in a player. He chuckled and replied that they looked for individuals with grit. 

This mindset of resilience and perseverance in the face of challenges is not just found in sports teams, but in various aspects of our lives such as work, school, and personal goals. People like Carroll, Jamie Dimon of JPMorgan Chase, and Anson Dorrance of the University of North Carolina women's soccer team, have successfully created cultures of grit in their respective fields.

So what does it mean to have grit? It's about pushing beyond what you think you can do, striving for the best at all times. It's about being early, respecting others and the team, finishing strong, and most importantly, it's about not giving up. And this grit isn't just innate, it can be developed. As Carroll puts it, "It's not just one thing. It’s a million things." 

So how do you develop grit? Through constant reminders, practice, and a supportive environment. In the Seahawks, they speak a language of grit, with phrases like "Always compete", "Finish strong", and "Be early". And this culture isn't just preached, it's lived by every member of the team. 

But it's not just about succeeding, it's also about how you handle failure. After a devastating loss at the Super Bowl, Carroll told his team that it was part of their journey. He encouraged them to face it, accept it, and use it to fuel their determination. 

Embracing the Culture of Grit: Lessons from Pete Carroll and Other Leaders

Grit is essential for achieving our full potential. It’s not talent that determines our success, but rather our passion and perseverance toward long-term goals. So, how do we cultivate this grit?

Internally, we can cultivate our interests, develop habits of daily challenges, connect our work to a bigger purpose, and learn to hope even when all seems lost. Externally, our grit can be nourished by our bosses, mentors, and friends. 

Some might wonder, does grit lead to happiness? A survey of two thousand American adults revealed that the grittier a person is, the more likely they’ll enjoy a healthy emotional life. However, the impact of grit on the happiness of the gritty person's family, coworkers, and employees is still a subject for further research.

Is there such a thing as too much grit? Aristotle proposed that too much or too little of a good thing is bad. While there might be situations where giving up might be the best option, it doesn't mean we've reached our potential. The essence of grit is to keep going, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and to rise each time we fall.

Grit isn't everything; character is plural. It includes other virtues like self-control, gratitude, social intelligence, curiosity, and zest. These virtues form clusters that impact academic achievement, social functioning, and learning posture differently.

As we navigate through life, we may encounter limits, but more often than not, these limits are self-imposed. We should remember that we're not striving to be another Mozart or Einstein, but rather the best version of ourselves. 

One final thought comes from Ta-Nehisi Coates, a MacArthur genius award winner. He eloquently describes writing, and perhaps any pursuit of passion, as a cycle of failure and refinement. It's about taking the terrible and making it good through relentless effort. It's about the grit to keep refining until we achieve success. 

Are You Ready to Embrace the Power of Grit and Become Your Own Kind of Genius?

The key to achieving success and reaching our potential lies not in talent but in our passion and perseverance, or what we often term as 'grit'. 

This notion of grit encompasses our interests, the practice of daily challenges, connecting our work to a larger purpose, and upholding hope even in the face of adversity. It is these elements that collectively drive us towards our long-term goals. 

Grit can be fostered both internally and externally. While we cultivate our interests and develop disciplined habits, our grit is also shaped by the external influences around us, such as our mentors, friends, and supervisors, who can provide the necessary support and motivation.

While grit is pivotal in determining our success, it should not be viewed in isolation. It forms part of a broader spectrum of virtues including self-control, gratitude, social intelligence, curiosity, and zest. These virtues collectively influence our academic achievement, social functioning, and learning posture. 

It's important to remember that we are not striving to emulate another Mozart or Einstein, but rather to become the best version of ourselves. This process inevitably involves a cycle of failure and refinement, a testament to our grit. It is the continuous effort to transform the terrible into something good that defines our journey towards success. 

Ultimately, the question is not about whether we possess grit, but if we are ready to cultivate it and utilize it to become our own kind of genius.

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