Curious about the journey of overcoming anxiety and finding peace? Ever wondered how famous figures, such as Dalai Lama and David Whyte, perceive anxiety? Interested in exploring the intersection of spirituality, psychology, and personal experience in understanding and managing anxiety? Dive in, and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and healing.

First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Story About Anxiety

The first time Sarah Wilson, the author, met the Dalai Lama, she was nervous. She wanted to ask him just one question for her magazine column on living a better life. They chatted in a hotel room, and she ended up blurting out, “How do I get my mind to shut up?” He laughed and told her it was impossible, even for him, unless he lived in a cave for a year. 

This seemingly dismissive answer initially left Sarah feeling deflated. But later, she realized the deeper truth in his message: you’re okay as you are. This revelation brought her immense relief. She shared the insight with her friend Ragni, understanding that sometimes, realizing we don’t need fixing can be a cure in itself.

Sarah has struggled with anxiety since childhood and has been diagnosed with various mental health conditions over the years, including OCD and bipolar disorder. Medication and therapy have been constants in her life. At one point, she even created a magazine gig to test different ways to heal herself because she was too unwell to hold a conventional job. This journey ultimately led her to the realization that anxiety doesn’t always need to be “fixed” but rather managed.

At fifteen, during a modeling competition, an embarrassing moment involving toilet paper made Sarah painfully aware that she didn’t possess “The Guidebook to Life” that everyone else seemed to have. This sense of being unanchored followed her into adulthood, but with age came the relief of knowing that no one truly has it all figured out. Everyone, it turns out, is just doing the best they can, often masking their insecurities behind carefully constructed facades.

Stephen Fry once wrote about his own hidden anxiety, and his words resonated deeply with Sarah. It was comforting to know she wasn’t alone in her struggles. Her journey with anxiety continues to be a bumpy ride, and like many others, she has found no definitive cure. While modern medicine and various therapies have helped, managing anxiety ultimately comes down to daily choices.

Anxiety is pervasive in society, with many suffering silently. Theories about its origins span childhood trauma, chemical imbalances, and even gut health. Despite the countless studies and diagnoses, there is no universal solution, and the medical model often risks over-medicalizing the condition.

Reflecting on her experiences, Sarah has come to understand that anxiety isn’t necessarily a problem to be fixed but rather a part of life to be navigated. Embracing this perspective has been liberating for her. Anxiety, with all its challenges, can also serve as a force that propels individuals toward a more meaningful and connected existence.

Mary Oliver’s poem “The Journey” eloquently captures this idea, illustrating the process of leaving behind external voices and finding one’s own. Life without a guidebook means embracing the freedom of choosing one’s own path. Instead of viewing anxiety solely as a disorder, Sarah suggests that it can be seen as an integral part of the human journey—one that fosters deeper self-understanding and connection with others. She encourages embracing anxiety, trusting the process, and seeing where it might lead.

Can the Dalai Lama's Wisdom on Anxiety Transform Your Life?

This is the part of the book where Sarah reluctantly dived into her childhood, prompted by her publisher. She explains that she wasn’t a gloomy kid, though she often scowled in photos. 

Sarah grew up in the bush outside Canberra on a semi-self-sufficient property. Her family weren’t hippies; they were just broke. They bred goats, wore third-hand clothes her grandfather saved from his factory job, and ate day-old bread. Sarah and her siblings were each other’s best mates, but she carried little rocks of anxiety grinding in her brain. At twelve, she became obsessed with spirituality, began reading the Bible, and developed anxiety, which led to sleepless nights and tapping behaviors.

By thirteen, Sarah renounced God and convinced her parents to explore other religions. She recalls being overwhelmed and crying after a Hare Krishna meeting. Her early teen spiritual search was a blur, but she found solace in comparing prices in the Yellow Pages. Eventually, she was diagnosed with anxiety and saw a counselor to address her tapping and counting compulsions. Her parents thought she was bored, but Sarah was searching for answers.

In her early thirties, amid a messy breakup and career rut, Sarah revisited her spirituality. She went on a yoga retreat and met Sky, a spiritual counselor. Despite initial cynicism, Sarah experienced a profound meditation session that brought her a sense of stillness and connection with her core self. This realization felt like coming home, and she wanted more of it.

Sarah believes that anxiety stems from a disconnection with a deeper, existential Something Else. The thoughts of German psychiatrist Karl Jaspers and philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre on anxiety resonate with her. She reflects on how humanity has always sought answers to existential questions, and she argues that blocking such inquiries with the current medical model only exacerbates anxiety. Even new research supports this idea, showing that some people are biologically immune to anxiety due to a gene mutation.

Sarah notes that she has always dated “life naturals” who see flowers and simply find them beautiful. Her ex, a laidback electrician, exemplified this perspective, which she openly envied. She came to understand that the pursuit of happiness often leads to anxiety, as Ruth Whippman suggests. Instead of striving for happiness, Sarah advocates for embracing life’s complexities with kindness and gentleness.

In her mid-thirties, Sarah made a life-changing decision to quit sugar, a move that led to a significant shift in her life. This decision, influenced by her research on living well, eventually turned into a global movement. She discovered that treating anxiety with kindness and gentleness, rather than harsh self-criticism, was far more effective. Acceptance and commitment therapy, compassion-focused therapy, and embracing life’s darker sides became tools that helped her manage anxiety better.

Sarah found inspiration in Dennis Tirch’s work on self-compassion and activating the comfort system. She learned that when anxious, showing compassion for others can also activate one’s own comfort system. She began employing techniques like writing letters to her anxiety and picturing her younger self to foster self-compassion.

She also recounts meeting Eugene Veshner, a 92-year-old hypnotist, who taught her the concept of mental muscle building. According to Eugene, bad habits can’t be eliminated but can be replaced with better ones through continuous practice. This concept helped Sarah create new, positive habits over time.

From Bush to Breakthrough: How Sarah Transformed Anxiety into a Global Movement

When someone has an anxious disposition, Sarah believes meditation is essential. Sky, her spiritual counselor, would often remind her, “Sarah, just meditate.” Although Sarah initially approached the idea with skepticism and numerous questions, Sky emphasized the simplicity and importance of the practice. 

Despite considering herself not particularly skilled at it, Sarah has maintained a consistent meditation practice, meditating twice daily for seven years. She has found that meditation calms the mind, reduces anxiety, and activates the brain's comfort system, even for those who feel they aren’t naturally good at it.

During a personal crisis, Sarah met her current meditation teacher, Tim, who introduced her to the Vedic style of meditation. This method involves repeating a mantra for twenty minutes twice a day. Sarah appreciated its structured yet forgiving nature, a practice embraced by notable figures such as The Beatles and David Lynch. Tim reassured her that the immediate experience during meditation was less important than the long-term benefits it fosters in daily life.

Meditation, however, is just one element of Sarah’s approach to managing anxiety. She also highlights the power of deep belly breathing. Research by Dr. Richard Brown and Harvard researcher Herbert Benson underscores that controlled breathing not only calms the body and mind but can even alter gene expression to reduce stress. Sarah also values the practice of gratitude, a concept she learned from personal development educator Dr. John Demartini. Taking time to reflect on things she’s thankful for helps shift her focus from anxiety to a more positive outlook.

When anxiety overwhelmed her, Sarah admits she once resorted to extreme measures, pushing herself to the point of exhaustion. After being diagnosed with Hashimoto’s, an autoimmune disease, she was forced to slow down and relearn how to care for her body. Walking became a pivotal part of her healing journey. 

Scientific studies suggest that mindful walking and spending time in nature can alleviate anxiety and improve overall well-being. For Sarah, hiking in particular became a way to reconnect with herself and the natural world, offering a welcome reprieve from the frenzied pace of modern life.

Sarah often reflects on David Malouf’s exploration of happiness, which posits that humans find contentment within certain limits. She believes our bodies are designed for a specific pace, and exceeding it can lead to anxiety. Practices like walking, hiking, cooking, yoga, and even handwriting help her reconnect with her core and calm her anxious mind.

Whether it’s through meditation, walking, or simply taking a moment to appreciate life’s small joys, Sarah advocates for practices that promote balance and reduce anxiety. "Just meditate. Just walk. Just breathe," she reminds herself—and others—and find gratitude in the little things.

Can Meditation and Mantras Truly Defeat Anxiety?

In her search for the elusive "Something Else," Sarah posed a question to her blog readers: what makes them anxious? The responses unveiled a universal yearning for a complete sense of self, authenticity, and a connection with life. This longing, known as "Sehnsucht" in German, describes an intense, indefinable yearning.

David Whyte, an Irish poet and philosopher, introduced Sarah to the concept of navigating three vital relationships: with others, with work, and with oneself. Among these, the relationship with oneself is the most challenging yet most critical. Without it, people risk becoming hostages to external demands, unable to move forward with conviction.

While writing, Sarah often struggled to remain in the peaceful quiet of meditation, frequently fleeing into distractions. Whyte explained that people fear the silence and aloneness that accompany a strong relationship with themselves because it reveals the truth of their existence and the brevity of life, requiring change and rendering them more vulnerable.

Throughout history, thinkers such as Plato, Lucretius, and Augustine have explored human anxiety and existential yearning. Carl Jung believed that anxiety arises from a soul searching for meaning. Acceptance, rather than a cure, allows individuals to access "the meaning that quickens."

Sarah observed that anxiety often stems from grasping outward for fixes, seeking satisfaction and purpose. Science supports this notion, as quantum physics demonstrates humanity’s interconnectedness while leaving unanswered questions about the nature of the connecting energy. Modern medicine and self-help approaches frequently reinforce the belief that solutions lie outside oneself, perpetuating a fruitless chase.

Sarah experienced the effects of this firsthand during her time in Santa Cruz, California, when she spiraled into obsessive-compulsive disorder and mania. Her journey through anxiety and bipolar disorder taught her to embrace her highs and manage her lows. While manic episodes can be creative and constructive, she now strives to balance her kite's flight.

Recognizing that anxiety emerges when people go beyond themselves, Sarah learned the importance of checking in with their "Inside People." This simple practice helps individuals stay grounded and connected. Embracing the present moment, as suggested by Eckhart Tolle, can also ease the anxious urge to surge forward.

Ultimately, Sarah reflects that anxiety is a grasping forward to fix the unknown ahead, while depression clings to the past. Both arise from discomfort with the ungraspable. By accepting this reality and learning to stay close to themselves, individuals can find peace and meaning.

David Whyte's Wisdom: Embracing Self-Connection to Alleviate Anxiety

Anxiety, for many, is a relentless hum or a full-blown storm. The subtle, ceaseless buzz can be more torturous than the dramatic spirals that culminate from it. Sarah Wilson, the author, dives into her personal experiences with anxiety spirals, where she remains outwardly calm while a whirlwind of thoughts rages inside. These spirals are often triggered by uncertainty and the lack of control, leading her to grasp at external fixes to regain control.

Sarah distinguishes between physical panic attacks and intellectual anxiety spirals. The former often manifests physically, with symptoms akin to a heart attack, while the latter is a more internalized experience of heightened awareness and thought. She explores this distinction through conversations with others, like Anna, who experienced panic attacks after a breakup, leading to a theory that chronically anxious individuals may experience spirals, while those typically laid-back might face panic attacks in acute stress.

The narrative shares personal anecdotes of Sarah's struggles, like the time she spiraled in Hawaii over sleeping arrangements with a new partner. Her rituals to ensure sleep, stemming from a fear of not sleeping, highlight how anxiety can manifest in controlling behaviors. She describes anxiety as a double-edged sword, with its cruel ironies, including feeling guilty for being anxious over innocuous triggers.

Sarah also touches on the paradox of other people in an anxious person's life, as they can both exacerbate anxiety and provide solace. She provides insights into how loved ones can help, emphasizing the importance of taking charge and being a stable presence during anxious episodes.

The narrative further explores the idea that anxiety can have a meta-purpose, drawing on historical and scientific perspectives. Anxiety, Sarah suggests, has been crucial for survival, acting as an early warning system. She encourages anxious individuals to find meaning in their anxiety, referencing historical figures who achieved great things despite, or perhaps because of, their anxiety.

Throughout the narrative, Sarah stresses the importance of accepting anxiety as part of one's life. She shares her journey of understanding and accepting her "beast," drawing inspiration from various thinkers and writers who have grappled with similar struggles. The narrative closes with a reminder that while anxiety is painful, it can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself and a more meaningful life.

Can Sarah's Anxiety Insights Transform Your Struggles into Strengths?

Louise Hay, at nearly 85, sat across from Sarah, eating her precise breakfast of three sausages, scrambled eggs, and three prunes. Decades ago, Hay had healed herself from cancer and went on to write the self-help bestseller "You Can Heal Your Life", which sold over 50 million copies. 

Hay explained to Sarah that her success stemmed from making small, right moves every day. This wisdom deeply resonated with Sarah, aligning perfectly with her own mantra of building healthier habits one step at a time.

Hay emphasized the importance of showing up and doing the work—an idea Sarah had encountered repeatedly in conversations with other influential figures she had interviewed. Gabby Bernstein, one of Hay's authors, had also shared with Sarah the belief that showing up constitutes 90% of success. Bernstein described how she quit sugar to heal her mind and found clarity, a journey that mirrored Sarah's own health experiences.

For Sarah, facing anxiety required constant vigilance and ongoing refinement. She likened it to carrying a bowl of water without spilling it—requiring steady, gentle steps. Sarah believed that embracing one’s unique path and responsibilities was essential, as there were no shortcuts to healing. In moments of crisis, such as anxiety spirals, immediate coping strategies were crucial, but Sarah knew that long-term resilience could only be built through consistent, small efforts.

Bernstein, whom Sarah met serendipitously on a TV show, had shared her lifestyle habits, including prayer and yoga. She emphasized the importance of simply showing up, even when it felt difficult. This approach resonated with Sarah, who applied the same principle to her life, whether it was committing to exercise despite inflammation or quitting sugar one day at a time.

Sarah acknowledged that creative work, much like living with anxiety, demanded time and persistence. It required showing up every day, even if the results took years to materialize. Embracing the often slow, deliberate process, Sarah believed, was the key to building something meaningful.

She also recognized how decision-making could act as a major trigger for anxiety. The paradox of choice often left people paralyzed, yet Sarah noted that successful individuals simplified their lives by eliminating unnecessary decisions. Icons like Barack Obama and Mark Zuckerberg, for example, wore the same clothes daily to conserve mental energy for more critical tasks. Sarah found that establishing routines—especially morning ones—helped create a stable foundation for tackling the challenges of the day.

Sarah advocated for "dropping certainty anchors" through small, consistent habits to manage anxiety. Automating decisions, she believed, reduced mental fatigue and allowed for greater focus on significant tasks. A morning routine, for instance, could set a positive tone for the day and foster focus and stability.

Reflecting on her own experiences, Sarah recalled a time when she found herself with nothing in Nice, France. Stripped of control, she experienced an unexpected sense of calm. Forced to go with the flow, Sarah discovered simplicity and surrender amidst the chaos. This moment taught her that sometimes, letting go is the best way to manage anxiety.

In essence, Sarah believed that facing anxiety and creating a fulfilling life involved showing up, doing the work, and occasionally, simply letting go. By embracing small, consistent actions and simplifying choices, she found that resilience could be built and peace could be uncovered in the unique journey of life.

From Louise Hay to Gabby Bernstein: The Power of Showing Up and Healing

Anxiety often feels like a flood of thoughts, akin to a chaotic racecar ride or a computer with too many tabs open. Paranoia, constriction, and a sense of overwhelming pressure are common. This sensation of mental overload aligns with the Greek word "angho," meaning "to squeeze," indicating the suffocating nature of anxiety.

A popular metaphor is the "ball of wool theory," where anxiety is described as a knotted mess that needs to be gently untangled, not forcibly fixed. This approach involves creating space rather than filling every moment with activity, as space allows for reflection and the processing of thoughts. Tim Kreider in The New York Times emphasized the importance of space for mental well-being, stating it helps in making unexpected connections and finding inspiration.

Creating space can be as simple as a daily pause, a walk, or moments of stillness. A Chinese doctor Sarah once knew would lie on the floor daily to reset. Another friend of Sarah, a CEO, schedules reflection time around every meeting. Even mundane activities like driving without distractions or sitting in silence can help.

Modern life, especially in Western societies, exacerbates anxiety with its frenetic pace and constant connectivity. Research shows higher rates of clinical anxiety in the US, Western Europe, and Australia/New Zealand compared to the Middle East and Asia. This relentless pace leaves little room for reflection and prioritization, contributing to collective anxiety.

An Ayurvedic perspective suggests that anxiety is a symptom of imbalance, particularly of the vata dosha, which governs movement and activity. Modern life aggravates vata, leading to anxiety. Simple practices like avoiding overstimulation, eating grounding foods, and maintaining routines can help balance vata and reduce anxiety.

Leaning into discomfort and sitting with anxiety, rather than fleeing from it, can also be transformative. This process of "distress tolerance" involves staying in anxiety-provoking situations until the fear dissipates. It might seem counterintuitive but staying with discomfort can weaken the feedback loop that connects anxiety to avoidance.

Finding beauty in imperfection, or embracing "wabi-sabi," involves accepting life's messiness and finding joy in it. This might mean not changing hotel rooms at the first sign of discomfort or sitting at a wobbly table in a café. These small acts of resistance against the urge to fix or flee can build resilience and lessen anxiety.

In essence, creating space, finding balance, and embracing imperfection are key strategies for managing anxiety in modern life. By gently untangling the knotted ball of wool in our minds, we can create more room for peace and clarity.

Can Tim Kreider's Advice on Creating Space Help Us Untangle Anxiety?

On a seemingly ordinary Thursday morning, Sarah found herself kneeling in front of her mirrored wardrobe, grappling with the weight of her life unraveling. Her once vibrant world had crumbled into chaos—she had left her job, endured a toxic relationship, faced health battles, and was left isolated and defeated. It was a low point, marked by silent howls of despair, yet it was also the beginning of an unexpected transformation.

In the depths of her pain, something shifted. Sarah realized she had nothing left to lose, and with that came a liberating thought: she could choose to live anew, unburdened by past expectations. This revelation brought a laugh reminiscent of a bungee jump—freefalling into the unknown but finding joy in the unexpected tug of safety.

The next day, she received a call that would change everything—a chance to host a TV show, despite her lack of experience. Embracing the opportunity, she stepped into the unknown with a sense of looseness and acceptance. This openness to life’s unpredictability led her to unexpected places and opportunities, including a role on a new show called MasterChef.

Through her journey, Sarah discovered the concept of grace—a gentle acceptance of life’s flow and the realization that she didn’t have to navigate it alone. Her experiences, marked by anxiety and struggle, led to personal growth and a deeper understanding of herself. She learned to sit with her pain, release her grip on control, and embrace the mysteries of life with patience and courage.

In the end, it wasn’t about being healed but about emerging different, with a newfound resilience and a better journey ahead. Her story became one of transformation, where anxiety was not a curse but a guide leading her home to herself. Through her struggles, Sarah found grace in the chaos and joy in the journey, realizing that life, in all its uncertainty, was a beautiful, interconnected dance.

From Chaos to Culinary: Sarah's Journey to MasterChef

Navigating the complexities of life often involves a delicate dance with anxiety, which can manifest as a relentless hum or dramatic spirals triggered by uncertainty and the lack of control. It’s revealing to understand that anxiety isn't necessarily a problem to be fixed but rather a part of life to be navigated. 

Embracing anxiety can lead to deeper self-understanding, fostering a meaningful connection with oneself and others. Rather than striving for happiness, embracing life’s complexities with kindness and gentleness can be more effective.

A significant insight is the importance of daily choices in managing anxiety, reinforcing the idea that small, consistent actions can help build resilience. Practices like meditation, deep belly breathing, and gratitude can create space for reflection, allowing for clarity and peace. Simplifying choices and routines can conserve mental energy, reducing anxiety triggers.

Anxiety often emerges from a disconnection with a deeper existential purpose. It’s crucial to embrace the present moment and lean into discomfort, as this can weaken the feedback loop that connects anxiety to avoidance. This approach aligns with the idea of "wabi-sabi," accepting life's messiness and finding joy in imperfection.

Ultimately, the journey through anxiety is not about finding a cure but about emerging different, with resilience and acceptance. Life’s uncertainties can be embraced with patience and courage, allowing anxiety to become a guide leading to self-discovery and transformation.

Home

Trending Books

News & Mags

Relax

Curated

Collections

Key Ideas & Notes

Insights

Highlights & Bookmarks

Listening History

Key Ideas

#1