Curious about the intense pressures of a high-profile career and the toll it can take on mental health? How did Dan Harris, a successful news anchor, navigate his way to recovery after a live panic attack? Join him on his journey to self-discovery, understanding his ego, and exploring the teachings of Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra.

10% Happier

What happens when a driven, ambitious, and successful news correspondent starts to lose control of his life, career, and mind? This is the story of Dan Harris, a young journalist on the rise, who suffered a public meltdown on live television, leading him on a surprising and enlightening journey of self-discovery and recovery.

In 2004, Dan was at the top of his game, anchoring news updates for "Good Morning America". But under the studio lights and cameras, he experienced a crippling panic attack live on air. This was a shocking blow to his confidence and sparked a personal crisis that would force him to reevaluate his life and priorities.

For years, Dan had been driven by a relentless ambition, fueled by a relentless insecurity. He soared through the ranks of ABC News, covering major events including the Iraq War. He thrived on the adrenaline of reporting from war zones and the thrill of breaking news. He was the embodiment of the phrase, "The price of security is insecurity".

However, Dan's experiences in war zones and the pressures of his career eventually took a toll on his mental health. He began to suffer from depression and turned to drugs to cope. Despite these warning signs, Dan kept pushing himself, ignoring the psychological impact of his experiences and the potential damage to his career.

His on-air meltdown was a wake-up call. Dan sought the help of a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with depression and linked his panic attacks to his drug use. This led Dan to make some drastic changes in his life, including giving up drugs and starting therapy.

But the journey to recovery wasn't easy. Dan grappled with feelings of disappointment and failure, and struggled to understand why he had allowed his life to spiral out of control. He was desperate for a life-changing revelation that would explain his behavior and help him regain control of his life.

However, his psychiatrist had a different approach. Instead of looking for a single, unifying theory, he helped Dan understand that recovery would be a gradual process, requiring patience, understanding, and self-care.

Despite his initial resistance, Dan began to appreciate the value of this approach. He realized that his ambition and insecurity had led him down a dangerous path, and that he needed to learn how to balance his drive for success with his mental and emotional well-being.

Dan's story is a powerful reminder that success at all costs can have serious consequences. It's a cautionary tale about the dangers of unchecked ambition and the importance of mental health. But it's also an inspiring story of resilience and recovery, showing that it's possible to hit rock bottom and still find a way back.

So, what happens when you reach the top, only to find yourself spiraling out of control? Do you let your ambition consume you, or do you find the strength to face your demons and start over? These are the questions that Dan grappled with, and his journey offers insights and lessons for us all.

Did Dan Harris' High-Pressure Career Trigger His On-Air Panic Attack?

In the midst of a packed evangelical megachurch, a woman beside Dan suddenly erupted in a high-volume stream of gibberish. It took him a moment to realize she was speaking in tongues—a phenomenon that mystified and unnerved him. As he glanced around the 7,500-seat sanctuary, he saw many others doing the same, while some sang along to a surprisingly good Christian rock band. The scene was both surreal and eye-opening.

Approaching Dan through the crowd was Pastor Ted Haggard, a sandy-haired, charismatic man in his forties. His boyish face and freshly pressed suit led Dan to reach a set of conclusions about him that would eventually explode in spectacular fashion. Ted introduced himself with a toothy grin, and Dan soon learned he was the leader of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, a place dubbed the "evangelical Vatican."

After the 2004 elections, evangelicals demonstrated significant electoral power, helping George W. Bush secure another term. Faith seemed to be at the core of everything, from culture wars at home to conflicts overseas. Despite recognizing the opportunity in this beat, Dan's personal attitude toward faith remained one of disinterest and mild disdain. Raised in a secular environment, he viewed organized religion as bunk and its followers as somewhat cognitively impaired.

However, Dan's assignment to cover the faith beat led him to explore various corners of American Evangelicalism. He reported on everything from Christian reality TV shows to Christian financial advisers, often feeling like a tourist in an open-air zoo. His producer, Wonbo Woo, urged him to go beyond conflict and caricature, to focus on how faith affected daily lives. It was during one such story that he first encountered Pastor Ted and his "NORAD of prayer," a gleaming, high-tech building meant to facilitate intercessory prayer.

Ted's enthusiasm was infectious, and he spoke with earnest excitement about the power of prayer to effect real-world changes. Over time, Dan found himself warming up to him. During a candid off-the-record conversation, Ted revealed the inner clashes within the evangelical movement, making Dan realize how unthinkingly judgmental he had been. Ted's story, along with the kindness and curiosity Dan encountered among evangelicals, started to shift his perspective.

But then, early one November morning in 2006, Dan stumbled upon a headline that shook him: Ted Haggard had been accused of paying for sex and crystal meth by a male escort. Initially, he dismissed it as a smear, but the story gained traction. Ted's world crumbled as his double life was exposed. Despite the scandal, his faith remained unshaken. He confessed to his transgressions but insisted he wasn't gay, attributing his actions to a lifelong internal struggle.

Ted's unwavering faith, even in his darkest moments, made Dan reflect on his own life. He envied Ted's sense of purpose and comfort, something he lacked during his own crisis. Reporting on faith had become more than just a job; it offered Dan a chance to understand a worldview that transcended the mundane. Ted Haggard, despite his flaws, taught Dan the value of a perspective that looked beyond the everyday.

As Dan continued his coverage, he realized that faith could indeed offer a sense of meaning and happiness, even if he couldn't bring himself to believe. His journey into the world of religion had begun to penetrate his defenses, opening up new avenues for understanding and introspection.

Breaking Barriers: From Agnostic Journalist to Evangelical Explorer

Meet Eckhart Tolle: a man who, despite his monochrome and gentle style, carries an extraordinary message. His teachings offer profound insights on the human condition and challenge our everyday thinking patterns. While at a glance you might overlook him, his ideas are truly mind-altering. His philosophy forces you to rethink your whole approach to life, offering a way to happiness. 

For instance, he argues that our lives are dictated by a relentless internal voice, a ceaseless stream of negative, repetitive, and self-referential thoughts. This voice, or 'ego,' judges, labels, and often berates us. Its dissatisfaction is bottomless, its comparisons endless, and it thrives on drama. It is obsessed with the past and the future, neglecting the present moment. And the present, as Tolle points out, is all we've got.

Yet, this philosophy raises questions. How do we quiet this voice? How do we stay in the Now? Can we be successful without the restless ego that drives human achievements? And what happens when Tolle's teachings venture into pseudoscientific claims? Is he a genius or a lunatic? 

These questions led to a one-on-one interview of Dan Harris with Tolle, revealing the man behind the teachings. Pleasant yet unfazed, Tolle remained consistent in his views. He maintained that we should make the present moment our friend rather than our enemy. Yet, he offered no concrete action plan for combating the ego or staying in the Now. His teachings opened a window into the debilitating noise of the ego, leaving us fascinated yet frustrated, eager for more practical guidance. 

So, how do we tame the voice in our head? How do we stay in the Now? Can we defeat the gray Stalinism of self-absorption without ending up on a park bench? The search for answers continues.

Can Eckhart Tolle's Teachings Truly Silence Our Inner Critic and Unlock Happiness?

The first thing that caught the eye of Dan, the author, was Chopra’s rhinestone glasses, followed by a fragrance that hinted at a recent lavish massage. Deepak Chopra had an aura of flamboyance and serenity, despite the chaotic setting. He was in Seattle to debate the existence of Satan for a Nightline “Face-Off.” 

The crowd was a colorful mix, featuring a hip pastor, a bishop in crisis, and a former prostitute who had found religion. Chopra, with his flashy attire and calm demeanor, seemed ready to dismiss Satan as a myth, a notion he suggested was for those needing irrational explanations for evil.

Dan, intrigued by Chopra’s seamless blend of spiritual wisdom and media savvy, couldn't resist steering the conversation toward Eckhart Tolle, another self-help giant. Chopra, never one to shy away from controversy, casually criticized Tolle's writing while proclaiming his own perpetual presence in the moment. When pressed for practical advice, Chopra’s responses were as mystical as they were vague, talking about "spontaneous right action" and "eavesdropping on the mind of the universe."

Despite his serene proclamations, Chopra’s debate performance was anything but calm. He was passionate, gesticulating wildly, which seemed at odds with his teachings of serenity. This dichotomy left Dan puzzled—was Chopra genuinely present and unperturbed, or was it all a facade?

The confusion deepened when Dan posted a video of Chopra online, generating a surprising amount of traffic and even piquing the curiosity of his boss, David Westin. Westin, a man not easily associated with spiritual quests, wanted to discuss the conversation, hinting at his own need for stress relief.

Dan’s attempts to share his newfound interest in spirituality with friends and family were met with skepticism and amusement. His brother’s silent smirk and a mocking gift of an Eckhart Tolle calendar epitomized the dismissive responses.

Desperate for clarity, he turned to Deepak Chopra’s books, hoping to find the answers Tolle hadn’t provided. Chopra’s hectic lifestyle, filled with self-promotion and media engagements, seemed to contradict his teachings of effortless spontaneity. Dan couldn't reconcile Chopra’s public persona with his spiritual claims.

The quest for understanding led Dan to a series of stories on self-help, revealing a spectrum of dubious characters like Joe Vitale and James Arthur Ray, whose practices ranged from benign to dangerously absurd. The tragic deaths at Ray’s sweat lodge ceremony were a stark reminder of the perils of blind faith in self-proclaimed gurus.

Ultimately, Dan’s journey brought him to Mark Epstein, a Buddhist psychiatrist with a no-nonsense approach. Epstein’s teachings on the ego and the present moment provided the intellectual rigor and practical wisdom that had been missing from Tolle and Chopra’s grandiloquent proclamations. Epstein’s normalcy and humor were a refreshing contrast, offering a grounded and relatable path to mindfulness.

This exploration into the world of self-help and spirituality highlighted the complexity and contradictions within the industry, leaving Dan both enlightened and bemused.

Journey Through the Labyrinth of Self-Help: A Deep Dive into Deepak Chopra

Back in the mid-1970s, five-year-old Dan Harris was thrust into the world of yoga by his hippie-influenced parents. Clad in stiff Toughskins jeans, he was publicly humiliated by his airy-fairy teacher, forced to practice in his tighty-whities. These early experiences bred a lifelong aversion to anything remotely hippie or New Age.

Fast forward to Colby College, where he endured endless Jerry Garcia guitar solos and hacky sack-playing Deadheads. This distaste extended to Buddhism, a discipline he initially dismissed as granola nonsense. Meditation, in particular, seemed like a cosmic goo ritual, complete with feet-smelling rooms and chanting practitioners.

Yet, when a Harvard-trained shrink suggested meditation for its health benefits, Dan reluctantly read up on it. Discovering that meditation didn't require robes or Sanskrit chants, he decided to give it a shot. Sitting on the floor of a beach house, he set a five-minute timer and tried to focus on his breath. In. Out. His mind wandered to shrubbery, filth smells, and hip-hop show ideas, but the experience left him respecting meditation as a rigorous mental exercise.

Determined to practice daily, he found meditation diabolically hard but rewarding. Life's mundane moments became opportunities to focus on his breath, anchoring him to an underground aquifer of calm. Yet, he struggled with mindfulness, a concept he found elegant but unfeasible. Recognizing and allowing his thoughts seemed nearly impossible.

Then, a three-day Buddhist conference changed everything. Tara Brach's initial cloying tone grated on him, but her RAIN technique—recognize, allow, investigate, non-identification—proved transformative. He began to apply it, investigating how his inner turmoil affected him physically. Chest buzzing, head pounding, he allowed himself to feel it all without judgment.

This newfound mindfulness helped him navigate professional uncertainty. Meditating on the couch in his office, he noted his emotions and physical sensations, creating space between stimulus and response. It was like peering behind the curtain and seeing the Wizard of Oz for what he was—a frightened, frail old man. Responding, not reacting, became his mantra.

Encouraged by his mentor, Mark Epstein, he signed up for a silent ten-day retreat with the renowned Joseph Goldstein, despite initial dread. His curiosity piqued, he embarked on a journey that promised to deepen his mindfulness skills. As he stressed over getting into the retreat, he realized the irony—he was anxious about an event designed to alleviate anxiety. But he was in this meditation thing now, and he was ready to go the distance.

Can Meditation Transform Your Life Even If You're a Skeptic?

Dan Harris finds himself in a San Francisco café, dreadfully anticipating his imminent check-in to a 10-day Zen retreat at Spirit Rock. Despite the New Age vibe, syrupy language, and request to "take whatever room is offered," Dan decides to embark on this journey. 

The idea of going without talking for ten days, however, doesn't worry him. Rather, he fears the pain and boredom of meditating all day, every day, considering his restlessness and bad back. But an encouraging email from a friend and a New York Times op-ed piece about positive retreat experiences give him hope.

Upon arriving at Spirit Rock, he observed his fellow meditators – mostly older, NPR-listening, socks-and-sandals wearing types. He's assigned a single room and the job of "pot washer," both of which he takes in stride. The food is excellent, and he finds himself in a high school cafeteria-type situation at meal times, unsure of where to sit among the crowd. 

The retreat is conducted in "noble silence," with alternating periods of sitting and walking meditation, meals, rest and work periods, and evening "dharma talks." He struggles with restless energy, saliva overproduction, and incessant thoughts about when the session will end. Despite these challenges, he experiences moments of magic with heightened senses, a newfound alertness, and a deepening understanding of mindfulness. He even begins to find joy in the mundane, like watching fellow retreatants help each other.

However, his initial rapture soon evaporates, leaving him counting the days until he can leave. He remains skeptical about the concept of enlightenment, questioning its attainability and actual existence. Despite his doubts, he finds value in the retreat leader's advice to ask oneself "Is this useful?" when worrying about future tasks or plans. This simple phrase seems to offer a solution for his propensity for overthinking while still allowing for necessary planning.

The retreat ends with a return to normalcy. His fellow meditators, whom he'd previously viewed as zombies, transform back into regular humans. Dan appreciates the experience but is ready to return to his normal life, equipped with a new tool to manage his overactive mind. Isn't it amazing how a single question can bring such clarity to our restless minds? Can you imagine what it would be like to spend ten days in silence, exploring the depths of your mind?


Journey into Silence: A Skeptic's 10-Day Zen Retreat at Spirit Rock

Dan Harris's television career takes an unexpected turn when he finds himself reporting on a story about a paralyzed kangaroo named Irwin. 

Despite his on-screen joviality, Dan is internally battling his ego and struggling to reconcile his professional aspirations with his new role. He is offered the job as weekend co-anchor of Good Morning America, a role that he initially perceives as a solution to his career anxieties. However, the transition to morning television presents new challenges, from navigating conversations with co-hosts to adjusting to lighter, often trivial, content.

In the midst of these professional challenges, Dan continues to deepen his meditation practice, increasing it to thirty minutes a day. He finds that mindfulness helps him gain perspective on his career frustrations and increases his resilience. He grapples with the concept of enlightenment and remains skeptical, despite his admiration for his meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein, who claims to have achieved some early stages of enlightenment.

Dan also learns to communicate his meditation practice to others by saying it makes him "10% happier." This catchy phrase intrigues people and helps dispel some of the skepticism he often encounters. Dan's meditation practice doesn't solve all his problems, but it helps him handle them better. It's about mitigation, not alleviation, a reality that becomes clearer as he navigates his TV career. His mindfulness practice also influences his personal life, making him easier to live with and more present in his relationships.

Despite his progress, Dan continues to grapple with the concept of enlightenment and the impossibility of lasting satisfaction. He recognizes the lie we often tell ourselves, that the next achievement or pleasure will bring us lasting happiness. 

Yet, he also understands that as "unenlightened worldlings," the pursuit of happiness is an inevitable part of our lives. Dan concludes that while he may not achieve enlightenment, he is getting the most out of the "meditative superpower" and learning to handle life's challenges more effectively.

Can Meditation Make You 10% Happier?

Private First Class Jason Lindemann was part of a multimillion-dollar scientific research on meditation, commissioned by the marine corps. Lindemann was sceptical at first, but he eventually observed the benefits of the practice. Researchers found that meditation can physically change the brain, increasing grey matter in areas associated with self-awareness and compassion, and shrinking areas linked to stress. 

The science behind meditation was becoming more mainstream, with thousands of studies suggesting it had numerous health benefits. Jon Kabat-Zinn, a microbiologist, had a vision to bring meditation to a wider audience by removing its Buddhist metaphysics. His course, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, taught secular meditation to thousands around the world. 

Meditation was seen as a way to improve focus, creativity, and leadership. However, it was also suggested that multitasking, a common practice in modern life, was counterproductive and reduced efficiency. This realization led Dan Harris to incorporate "purposeful pauses" into his day, taking moments to focus on one task or sensation at a time.

Despite his skepticism, Dan also found a growing interest in compassion, driven by his interview with the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama emphasized the self-interest in practicing compassion, arguing that it benefited the individual as much as it did others. This perspective, backed by scientific research, suggested that compassion could improve one's health, happiness, and success. Dan started incorporating compassion meditation into his daily practice, noticing changes in his interactions with others and his overall well-being. 

Despite the benefits, Dan faced challenges in balancing his professional life with his new-found compassion. He questioned whether his job as a journalist, which often required asking tough questions and provoking reactions, was compatible with practicing compassion. This internal conflict became more pronounced after an interview with Paris Hilton, which made him question whether he had violated his compassion policy. Despite this, he remained committed to his practice, finding value in both mindfulness and compassion.

Personal and Scientific Exploration of Meditation and Compassion

In late 2010, while in India for an investigative story, Dan received news that Ben Sherwood was to be his new boss at ABC. Ben had been supportive during Dan's first panic attack on live TV years before. As Dan pondered the implications of Ben's leadership, he recalled their past interactions, including a moment when he reluctantly held sludge in New Orleans at Ben's request.

Ben, a Harvard grad and Rhodes Scholar, was a hands-on leader. His arrival led to a professional crisis for Dan. Despite a history of good rapport, Dan found himself sidelined during major events like the Egyptian protests and the Japan tsunami. Even as he tried to adopt a more compassionate, meditative approach, he struggled with his new passivity.

During a retreat with Sharon Salzberg, she spoke about "sympathetic joy", which resonated with Dan's work frustrations. She advised that fear of the unknown often paralyzes us, yet it’s essential to recognize that we aren’t in control. This wisdom helped Dan see the roots of his drive and consider transcending his bourgeois conditioning.

Dan's wife Bianca and his meditation teacher Mark Epstein both encouraged him to "Hide the Zen" and be more assertive. Mark explained that while compassion is crucial, sometimes one needs to compete aggressively. This led to a pivotal meeting with Ben, where Ben urged Dan to "up his game" and become a "leading man." His advice was a wake-up call—Dan had confused "letting go" with passivity.

Revitalized, Dan started saying yes to more assignments, including confronting the CEO of Philip Morris and reporting on solitary confinement. Ben's praise emails returned, and Dan's professional life improved. However, he still faced moments of frustration and exclusion, such as not covering the 9/11 anniversary.

Mark Epstein's advice to practice "nonattachment to results" finally clicked for Dan. It means doing one's best without being devastated by the outcome, allowing for resilience and continued effort. This concept became a cornerstone of Dan's new approach, balancing ambition with mindfulness.

Dan created "The Way of the Worrier," a list of ten principles to guide him:
1. Don’t Be a Jerk
2. Hide the Zen when necessary
3. Meditate
4. Recognize the price of security
5. Equanimity fuels creativity
6. Don’t force it
7. Humility prevents humiliation
8. Go easy with self-criticism
9. Nonattachment to results
10. Focus on what matters most

This new mindset led to professional success and personal growth for Dan, highlighting the importance of compassion, assertiveness, and mindfulness in a competitive environment.

Can Mindfulness and Ambition Coexist in the World of Journalism?

Dan Harris, a successful news correspondent, experiences a personal and mental crisis after a panic attack on live television. Despite a thriving career, the pressures of his work led him to depression and drug use. The meltdown was a wake-up call, leading him to therapy and a gradual recovery process. He realized he needed to balance his ambition with his mental and emotional well-being. The journey taught him the dangers of unchecked ambition and the importance of mental health. 

In his exploration of faith, he encounters Pastor Ted Haggard, whose faith remains unshaken even after a scandal. Despite his skepticism, Dan learns to see the value in a perspective that looks beyond the everyday. 

He also meets Eckhart Tolle, whose teachings challenge conventional thinking patterns. However, Tolle offers no concrete action plan for combating the ego or staying in the present. 

Deepak Chopra, another influential figure, also intrigues Dan with his blend of spiritual wisdom and media savvy. However, Chopra's lifestyle seems to contradict his teachings of effortless spontaneity. 

Dan also embarks on a meditation journey, starting with a reluctance toward the practice but eventually finding it rewarding. He grapples with the concept of mindfulness and applies it to his professional and personal life. 

His journey into self-help and spirituality reveals the complexity and contradictions within the industry. Despite the challenges, he finds meditation beneficial and continues to practice it. He learns to communicate his meditation practice by saying it makes him "10% happier". 

His journey also leads him to explore the science behind meditation and the benefits of compassion. Despite the challenges, he finds value in both mindfulness and compassion. 

Despite his progress, he faces a professional crisis when his new boss sidelines him. With the advice from his wife and meditation teacher, he learns to be assertive while remaining compassionate. He adopts a new approach, balancing ambition with mindfulness, leading to professional success and personal growth.

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